Helen Hunt
I could have been clutching my pearls about sheers back in 1996! Who knew! In May 1996 I was getting ready for finals in my freshman year of college. I didn't have TIME for sheers. I wish Helen hadn't, either. Also, the button-down shirt that basically comes down to her knees is like a nightshirt from the Sexy Jacob Marley collection.
Bill Paxton and Louise Newbury
Bill and Louise were married right up until his untimely death three years ago. Aw. I just brought down the mood. He looks very folksy-cute, like he got dressed for a night out in the big city but kinda misses his porch swing.
Kevin Bacon
I believe Kevin Bacon still looks exactly like this.
Anne Ramsay
Anne was there presumably to support her Mad About You colleague. (Paul Reiser came too, but I didn't snag any pictures. As Jess would say, he looked like Paul Reiser.) I do think we should all contemplate whether the string around her skirt is part of the shirt, or just something she did on her own to tie it all together in a very literal way.
Stephen Dorff
This feels like a very David Beckham hair moment.
Keanu Reeves
Keanu just seems happy for everyone's success.
"Date and Peri Gilpin"
I guess the captioner listed them in order of appearance. I would have led with Peri Gilpin. ALWAYS lead with Peri Gilpin. That's a good motto.
Kylie Travis
YES. Kylie here was on Models, Inc. She was the bitch whom they gave the secret heart of gold, which I've decided is the meaning behind her outfit. The bummer for Kylie Travis is that if you try and Google her, you get a LOT of news about Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott.
Linda Thompson
Linda is here with her sons, and if you want to feel old, one of them -- the one on the right, I believe, as he is younger - is Brody Jenner.
Shemar Moore and Lela Rochon
That is a large, large suit, Shemar. I guess it affords you plenty of room to be both young and restless. Lela, meanwhile, needed to check her shirt angles in the mirror before hitting the carpet.
Mick Fleetwood and Stevie Nicks
Mick's got a lot of matching velvet going on here. Stevie looks like Stevie. Which is to say, also like a cross between Carrie Fisher and Bonnie Hunt.
Rob Lowe and Sheryl Berkoff
Rob Lowe ALSO looks exactly like this now. Whoever is tweaking his face -- he HAS to be getting stuff finessed; just LOOK at him now -- is doing a damn fine job.
Wesley Snipes
I am not sure what Wesley looks like now, but I like to imagine that he and Michael Sheen call each other once a week to say, "There is only ONE Wes(t)ley Snipes."
Amy Brenneman
Ooh, I get to judge Amy before there was a Judging Amy. I judge that drop-waisted jumpsuit(?) with a waist-chain to be EVER SO 1996 -- and yet in a way where I recognize it's from Yesteryear but was not anything I ever owned.
Eddie Van Halen
Nice of you to dress up, Ed.
Jon Peters and Mindy Williamson
Jon Peters is the guy Pamela Anderson married for 12 days recently, and who has supposedly been in love with her since they dated first in 1989 and who - when they married - ditched a lookalike fiance who was moving in with him. Clearly, he has a type. (Page Six's details on the story are quite something.)
Twister poster
"Guys. Listen. People want Cary Elwes looking at them like they're Buttercup, and Helen Hunt doing that pursed-lip half-smile where you can tell she's thinking that you're a goddamn idiot. But Paxton... how do we sell Paxton? Can we just put most of his face on a picture of Christian Slater and hope people get confused?"