Gigi

THIS hideous thing. If you'll pardon me telling you to look at her crotch: One of the worst things about this is that you can see weird stitching there, plus some lining oozing out. 

Gigi

A lot of this is really good. The split pants are just silly.

Bella

In the glorious tradition of models and actresses showing up at Cannes trying to make people notice them, here is Bella. And I do feel like it worked for her; I don't recall her doing as much modeling before this, but her career picked up a fair bit of steam afterward. But like... girl. She is shaved and waxed and plucked to within an inch of her life.

Gigi

She hosted the AMAs in a variety of stuff that wasn't great, but for simplicity I'm just using her red carpet look. This whole thing is so bad -- from the hair to the eighty pounds of makeup to the Mega Doily.

Bella

If I had to pick an ornate and potentially vaguely see-through gown, I'd choose this one over the previous one.

Bella

I'm not used to seeing them in something so... regular.

Bella

The bodice is weird, but all I can see is how much her toes hate her shoes.

Bella

Is this... rotting?

Gigi

Gigi LOVES a choker, I'm learning. Almost as much as Chloe Grace Moretz does.

Bella

This is so bad that it actually made me laugh out loud, which is... something, anyway. I enjoy that Bella appears to have studied at the J.Lo School of Wearing The Exact Same Facial Expression No Matter What Is On Your Body.

Gigi

This might as well just be body paint.

That zipper is plunging into uncomfortable places.

Guys Choice Awards 2016 By Spike TV

I wouldn't say I like this, but she looks pretty good in it. Although I guess you can use that logic on a lot of these, which makes it flawed. I don't love that she's wearing a wicker tube top, for sure.

Uniting for a Lyme-Free World Gala - New York

Ugh, I'm not ready to go back to corset-style tops and pants. Much less pants with see-through portions.

Gigi likes suits. I'd enjoy this one more without the bra, methinks. 

Bella

This could have gone so much worse.

Gigi

This is basically a strapless jumpsuit with... a halter-top cape. Fashion is all about f

Bella

Lady Loofah.

Gigi

Gigi looks like her own dress is holding her prisoner. Zayn just looks like he stole his outfit from a Met exhibit. Or got stuck in it and had no choice.

Bella

Look, she's wearing Morticia Addams.

69th Annual Cannes Film Festival - The De Grisogono Party

Bella LOVES fringe, I guess.

Bella and Gigi

Bella's is similar to one she wore earlier in this slideshow but about 85 percent more sheer. Which is not the direction I would have gone. It makes Gigi's seem totally normal -- and hers ISN'T that bad, but it's still undeniably Disco Clan of the Cave Bear.

Gigi in Versace

This is full High Fashion Superhero, in a way that's both charming and crazy.

Bella

You'd think this was on the way to an event, but no, she's just out to dinner. If it wouldn't involve making a complete naked ass of myself, I'd LOVE to see the expression on my friends' faces if we made dinner plans and I turned up in this.

Bella

I believe both of these two are Dior dresses; I remember that house being really into the white strip with its name on it, like a fancy Joe Boxer waistband. Sometimes I think the entirety of Dior has a concussion.

Gigi

Cold enough for that coat, warm enough for those shoes.

Gigi

If Bella is into fringe right now, Gigi's bag seems to be suits, tube tops, and giant coats.

Gigi

Case in point.

Gigi

Sadly, not even that coat can hide her '80s jeans.

Gigi

This is what I look like in hotel bathrobes, which tend to be unisex and have about four inches too much arm for me.

Gigi

She makes that look so comfortable.

Gigi

I can't totally tell WHAT that coat is, but I know this: On a rainy day in Paris, those beige suede shoes are DOUBLY out of place with this ensemble.

Gigi

A top, or a torture device?

Gigi

I assume she bought those from James Spader, who had them kicking around his pad ever since he wrapped Pretty In Pink.

Gigi

Oh my God, WEAR A REAL COAT IF IT'S THAT COLD.

Gigi

I actually think this whole look is great on her. It's a "don't try this at home" sort of thing.

Bella

I just want to note that, in addition to wearing this to push a cart around a supermarket, Bella sported this at lunch with her father. Not only is this STRONGLY HEINOUS and the kind of thing you save for doing yoga in your own house, I cannot IMAGINE my father would consent to being in a public place with me while I wore this. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE.

Bella

WHY.

Gigi

MORE WHY. The classic tee doesn't make the pantstights okay, Gigi. Also, AGAIN WITH THE INANE HYBRID.

Gigi

What a truly grievous abuse of sewing.

Gigi

She wore these pants a lot, and her mother has them on in the previous slide, so I assume they're from the line she did with Tommy. She sells them, mostly, although buyer beware.

Bella

Do we really think she wore this on her flight, or changed into it afterward? I cannot imagine wanting to sit in this for ten hours.

Bella

This family and pants, man. 

Bella

These pants aren't great either, but at least they're delivering on their promise to BE pants. I'm not sure the shirt can say the same.

Gigi

Not REMOTELY the worst thing in this slideshow, but a rib crusher plus Shaquille O'Neal's tuxedo shirt do not an outfit make.

Bella

Sigh.

Bella

The quizzical look on that one girl's face is wonderful.

Gigi

I can sign off on this, though. Those shoes are really good.

I don't even know which one

NOT SO THESE, THOUGH. The fur slip-on loafers -- always Gucci, I believe -- are THE WORST. They sincerely look like someone is wearing the crushed dogs from A Fish Called Wanda.

Bella

You can see this is another merry widow with some tissue paper over it.

Gigi

I feel like this is a Kardashian costume. (Her hair is brown for a fashion show where everyone had their opposite hair color; the clothes, though, look like total Kim stuff.)

Bella

Obviously the jeans are a problem, but... is that an ACTUAL DOG COLLAR around her neck?!?

Bella

She wore this to shop at a bookstore. DON'T WE ALL. (Why am I always SO CONFUSED about the climate with these people?)

Gigi

I think these distressed barely there pants have gone away. Right? Can we just decide they're over again?

Bella

Charming.

Gigi

I mean, she's as close as anyone could be to pulling off tweedy bloomers.

Bella

The shoes are the only things that actually fit here.

Gigi

Was she not DONE WITH visible panties after walking in the VS show? Apparently not. What am I even saying. Who is ever done with visible underpants?!??!?

Bella

Suddenly she's the love child of Elvira and a baseball. AND SCENE.

2016: The Year of the Hadids?

Yes, they existed before 2016, but it feels like this is the year in which Gigi's ascendant star -- and the family's dogged omnipresence -- brought name and face (and professional) recognition for Bella. No longer are they merely "Kendall Jenner's friend Gigi and her sister" but in fact The Hadids, You Know Who We Are, Full Stop. Whether we want them to full-stop some of their sartorial shenanigans is another matter. Let's see what transpired. Spoiler: They're headed for a Kardashian plane of being, if they're not already on it.