Montaigne

This is amazing. It's like Gozer the Gozerian came back and wanted to REALLY do it up. This is NOT what I expected to see on a French Renaissance philosopher! Actually, THIS Montaigne is a singer-songwriter whose real name is Jessica, though she DID name herself after The French Philosopher One. Her music seems pretty popular in Australia, though as ever I depend on our Aussie readers to give us the REAL scoop.

Nicole Kidman

I don't hate this on Nicole, even though she looks like someone's very fancy bed decided to get up and walk out of the house.

Mya

I've missed Mya! This dress is dramatic and exciting; I like it on her. What are you up to, Mya?

Imogen Anthony

This is where I did most of my screaming. She is apparently "a model," and she does not have a Wikipedia page, so as far as I am concerned, she might not be real. Per this piece in The News, she has a very...singular fashion sense.

Imogen Anthony

Please assume the screaming has continued.

Jessica Mauboy

These are some GIANT elbow warmers, but it's all relative.

Rita Ora

And this is actually gorgeous on her. I believe this event is the Australian Grammys (or the Aussie Billboards?) so it's certainly appropriately fancy for the evening. I love it. (Although I just found out that it's Marchesa! CURSES. I guess if you're gonna go to bat for them, do it for this.)

Barry Conrad

For when Terry Crews has a previous engagement...

Amy Shark

This feels mildly half-hearted.

Sophie Monk

But this is quite reasonable from a person who has, in the past, not appeared so reasonable.

Christian Wilkins (R) and Andrew Kelly

This is NOT the Christian Wilkins who plays defensive tackle for Clemson.  These two are a couple but I have NO idea what they do; Wilkins might just be rich and eccentric?

Samantha Jade

Samantha looks like she just hauled herself out of the pool.

Alex the Astronaut

This looks comfy; I feel like being able to run away from this event might be wise.

Katie Noonan

I wish someone would have taken over the job of properly lining Katie's dress!

Vera Blue

I'll allow it.

Richard Marx and Daisy Fuentes

And then Richard Marx showed up, and reminded me anew that he's married to Daisy Fuentes!

Some of These Looks at the ARIA Awards Will Make You Shriek Aloud

Also, Richard Marx was there.