The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Thanks to the fact that I have seen literally every episode of this fine program, I do not need Informative Caption to tell me that this is: Sutton Stracke, Kyle Richards, Garcelle Beauvais, Lisa Rinna, Erika Jayne, Crystal Kung Minkoff, and Dorit Kemsley. We do not have solo shots of Sutton OR Crystal, so I will cover them here by noting that I really like them both and I think Crystal looks AMAZING but maybe wishes she'd worn a short skirt and Sutton's sleeves would be catnip to a modern Anne Shirley.
Garcelle Beauvais in Carolina Herrera
I need to note that I think Garcelle has been an amazing addition to this show and I LOVE her and I also love this pink on her but also she probably didn't need to pose like this the whole time. GARCELLE PLEASE COME BACK NEXT SEASON.
Erika Jayne
Informative Caption has misspelled Erika's name and she'd probably sue them except she is currently BESET WITH LEGAL WOES given that her spouse was (allegedly) running a Ponzi scheme using legal settlements for WIDOWS AND ORPHANS to fund their lifestyle, which included a vanity music career for her featuring a song called IT'S EXXXXPENSIVE TO BE ME. Anyway, I actually really like this dress on her, even if the hair is sort of silly and also Erika had a very VERY bad season this year but also provided 100% of the drama so....here we are. (BTW, if you're a Housewives fan and also are nosy about their legal issues -- which are myriad -- I really recommend the podcast The Bravo Docket, which does deep dives on the subject. It's super interesting.)
Kyle Richards
Kyle looks very spray-tanned here, but her dress is inoffensive. I am basically neutral on Kyle but! If you have Peacock, Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip was surprisingly entertaining and Kyle was really delightful on it??
Lisa Rinna in Saint Laurent
I am admittedly too annoyed by Lisa Rinna's behavior this last season to be able to judge her fairly here but I am pretty sure that, no matter what, these sleeves are too big.
Dorit Kemsley in Agent Provocateur
Dorit has had a tough off-season -- she was in a very scary-sounding home invasion robbery -- and I have some fondness for her even though I also think she might be a lil' bit of a grifter? (Unrelated to that robbery!) REGARDLESS: This is a lot of boob, Dorit!!!
Dorit Kemsley in Agent Provocateur
It's also a lot of back!!
Porsha Williams
ALSO a lot of boob on Porsha, who is making a cameo from The Real Housewives of Atlanta in this otherwise Los Angeleno-focused post. (TECHNICALLY, she is no longer on RHoA because she got her own spin-off, but I'm unsure as to how long the spin-off will last; it seems basically predicated on the fact that her family is appealing, which is true, and that her love life is messy, which is ALSO true, and those two factoids CAN keep a show afloat indefinitely. I like Porsha but is she going to be as interesting without a foil AKA Kenya, who I also like? Please come to my TED Talk about this on Thursday.)
Dorothy Wang
Dorothy Wang was on Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, which I watched, and is apparently joining the cast of Bling Empire, which I also watched. (Listen, I LOVE shows that are just rich ladies screaming at each other.) She looks fine!
Christine Quinn
This is actually sort of low-key for Christine. (We have moved to the Selling Sunset portion of the evening.) She looks great here.
Chrishell Stause in Genny
Do we think this is a wig on Chrishell? I like the darker hair on her, but not as much as I like her usual hair. (I spent a lot of this past season of Selling Sunset admiring her hair.)
Heather Rae Young
HEATHER, this is a SLIP.
Romain Bonnet and Mary Fitzgerald
I really like Romain and Mary but I feel like they've both looked better on the show? Is Romain doing frosted tips?!
Emma Hernan
Emma is one of the new agents on Selling Sunset and she's very pretty. This might be a little bare for my personal tastes, but also on brand for this awards show.
Serena Pitt and Joe Amabile
Whoops, now we're moving over to The Bachelor. I guess this is the Reality Show post now! Anyway, they both look nice. I accidentally stopped watching Bachelor in Paradise, but I like both of these people, EXCEPT I also think the age difference here is going to be a problem.
Nick Viall
Did Nick break up with his ALSO very youthful girlfriend? He looks fine, regardless of whatever is happening in his personal life.
Tayshia Adams
I love Tayshia and I want her to be happy and I also want the slit on her dress to be like five inches to the right.
John Hersey and Katie Thurston
OKAY, I did watch this season of The Bachelorette and I wish Katie's outfit was just one dress and also what happened here, like, romantically speaking!? Someone give me the tea.