Kamila Valieva of Russia, short program
Okay, so, real talk: She is extremely good, and also this costume is VERY BEAUTIFUL. She is definitely going to murder everyone in the ladies' competition unless something seriously wild happens (or she gets Covid, god forbid). And then, like most Russian phemons, we'll probably sadly never see her again! Johnny Weir says she's the best skater he's ever seen -- but I will note that Johnny is very, very pro-Russia. (Skating wise!) (I do think all the gushing over her from Johnny, although not inaccurate, got a little exhausting and I think someone else gave him that note because he did dial it back a bit between Saturday and Sunday.) I also learned that in addition to her history-making quad, she is also only the 4th woman to land a triple axel in Olympics. The first? Midori Ito. (Tonya Harding was the first to land it in competition, but Tonya had a distracted Olympic games.) (The other two: Mirai Nagasu and Mao Asada!)
Kamila Valieva of Russia, short program
Look at how flexible she is! This is absolutely amazing.
Kamila Valieva of Russia, free skate
I HATE THIS COSTUME, HOWEVER. Leaving aside the fact that I think "Bolero" is a cliche option at this point (in fact, I think a lot of the Russian team's musical choices feel a little uninspired) and obviously no one is going to interpret it artistically as well as Torvill and Dean (I KNOW THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!), this is just....a deranged aesthetic choice. I assume it was an attempt to modernize "Bolero" but.............................. ....... ................... I hate it.
Yi Zhu of China, short program
This poor child-- who skated to Paint It Black, making this costume appropriate (although the two piece action is unusual, I like it) -- had a tough skate. She didn't do well at all in the short program, and looked exhausted and like she was going to cry at the end of it, probably because there were apparently some questions about whether she should get to skate in the team competition for China at all. And I read yesterday that she has really been getting it kicked out of her on Chinese social media. (In general, I feel like athletes should NOT be reading their mentions EVER but especially during a competition. Someone change her password!) She was actually born in Los Angeles -- her Dad is a professor at UCLA -- and she gave up her American citizenship to skate for China. That had to have been a really hard decision and I hope she doesn't regret it. (Once you renounce American citizenship, you can't get it back, as I understand it. We had to research it in depth for The Royal We, but admittedly we wrote that six years ago so some of my details might be shaky now.)
Yi Zhu of China, free skate
Her free skate also went very poorly; she cried at the end. I feel terrible for her. I think she was just...really, really rattled. (I do want to note that she was skating to Sunset Boulevard -- which is sweet, as that's her hometown -- and I sort of wish she'd gone for the turban.)
Karen Chen of the USA, short program
I looooooOOOOOOoooove Karen's short program costume and I also love her red lipstick. Unfortunately, she did not skate well in the short, and Team USA needed all the points we could get if we wanted to win gold. (Which, as I said in the intro, I never thought we would get in the first place but sports ARE weird sometimes.) My notes about Karen just read, "POOR KAREN I love her footwork and her costume is pretty."
Karen Chen, free skate
Luckily, Karen bounced back for the free skate. She nailed this, and her costume and lipstick continued to be gorgeous. I'm so glad Karen Chen has an Olympic medal!
Madeline Schizas, of Canada, short program
Meanwhile, my notes about Madeline just read, "good for you, Canada!!" She skated very well in both the short program and the free skate and this costume is VERY pretty. This also seems like a good place for me to ask this: Are the women skaters now wearing what I can only call a little...cap over their buns? It doesn't look like a hairnet, it looks like a little cap meant to look like hair? Is this a thing?
Madeline Schizas, of Canada, free skate
There was a moment toward the end of her free skate, when all the jumps were done, where I feel like you could just see on her face the realization that she had NAILED THIS and it was so touching and emotional that it almost made me cry? She scored a personal best! The Russian women are favored to sweep the podium this year but...you never know. Someone might always skate into a wall! Let's make this a battle!
Wakaba Higuchi, of Japan, short program
Japan had two women solo skaters here in the team competition. Wakaba Higuchi skated SO well, I thought -- she finished second of the ladies on Saturday, and deservedly so. Her costume is very delicate and beautiful; she is skating to an Ellie Goulding cover of "Your Song" and I think they were probably right to NOT go Full Elton for this look.
Kaori Sakamoto, of Japan, free skate
And although parts of Kaori Sakamoto's free skate felt sort of like interpretive dance, I mean that in a good way. She came across SO CHARMING to me -- and fast! The Japanese team (unsurprisingly!) is very good this year. This would also make a good red carpet gown.
Anastasia Gubanova of Georgia, short program
Over to the people who didn't get to move on to the free skate. My notes for Anastasia read, "I love the Georgians????" And I DO, I feel like Georgia has been skating SO well in this Olympics. She is skating to a French song and I appreciate that her costume makes her feel like she's wearing a jaunty scarf. And more bonus points for a great lipstick.
Eliska Brezinova of the Czech Republic, short program
She skated to a remake of the Eurythmics "Sweet Dreams," and this look feels very right for that.
Lara Naki Gutmann of Italy, short program
This costume is so beautiful; it almost looks like she's wearing a watercolor.
Anastasiia Shabotova of Ukraine, short program
"This looks like Christmas!" I said to myself and then she started skating and it's to Carol of Bells, so. Yes! It is! (In her defense, Carol of the Bells is one of the most dramatic Christmas songs ever created and it IS good to skate to. Although a Christmas routine is sort of an immature choice, I fear? She's only 16, though. Anyway, merry Christmas!!)
Nicole Schott of Germany, short program
This is such an athletic choice -- like, in a good way. I think this is very cool. (She's 25, and Tara and Johnny were skating -- no pun intended! -- close to the line of being like, "WAY TO GO, GRANDMA!")
Mark Kondratiuk of Russia, free skate
When Mark skated out, I wrote, "is this gonna be to GODSPELL?" but no. It was to Jesus Christ, Superstar, hence the, uh, thorn situation here! (My further notes read, "He is skating as....JESUS? That is something.") The routine ended with the 39 lashes (!) and him throwing his arms out like he is on the cross (!!). I am not particularly religious and that IS certainly a very dramatic story, but this felt a little sacreligious to me. A reaction that surprised even me!
Jin Boyang of China, men's free skate
Meanwhile, Jin Boyang skated to a very gentle rendition of "Bolero" -- "Bolero" lives in Beijing this year!! -- and his quad lutz was GORGEOUS. I enjoy that he and Kamila both decided that "Bolero" requires gloves.
Yuma Kagiyama of Japan, free skate
This kid -- he is only 18 -- is the world silver medalist and his costume is great and he NAILED THIS SKATE. (My notes read, "HE IS GOOD!!!!") He also did a cute little dance at the end, because he was so excited, as seen here. The men's competition might be very exciting indeed.
Vincent Zhou of USA, free skate
Vincent skates to music from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," hence the dragon on his costume. He did....okay. (Now I wonder if he was feeling run down because of Covid?) I guess Nathan Chen offered to skate both the short program AND the free skate in the team competition but US Figure Skating was like, "hahahaha NO please rest up."
Roman Sadovsky of Canada, free skate
This poor sweet child had an absolutely disastrous long program. Like...it was very bad. He just had a complete meltdown. He skated to Snow Patrol, though, and I truly need a pairs team to do a "Grey's Anatomy" themed skate. Can you imagine! This would be so good! THE ANGST. Pick them, love them, choose THEM.
A GERMAN PRETZEL
PRETZEL BREAK! (This is Team Germany and I love them for doing this.)
Eric Radford (R) and Vanessa James of Canada, pairs free skate
This was the only one of these skates that wasn't on NBC Primetime (I think the skiing ran over a little), but I watched it on Peacock (and learned that my Peacock commentary is an Australian woman whose identity I could not suss out but I liked the cut of her jib). Anyway! They were good. I love her costume but they do not look like they're going to the same event. She's a gorgeous figure skater and he is a beat poet.
Alexa Knierim and Brandon Frazier, pairs free skate
And they look BEAUTIFUL and I love this routine because I am a basic bitch who can't hear "Fix You" without crying, but they did not skate well. Sigh. American pairs continues to be in a bit of a muddle.
Aleksandr Galliamov and Anastasia Mishina of Russia, pairs free skate
I think this free skate is much better than their short program -- although I find their routines to be emotionally dull as a whole. Apparently, part of the music they skate to plays on the evening news in Russia. When is an American gonna skate out to the 60 Minutes stopwatch!!?! HOWEVER! The emotions were ratcheted up when he dropped her and fell over in a very very very scary turn of events; he seemed VERY shaken by the entire thing, and it was terrifying. Both of them could have been really badly hurt, it's a blessing they were not (as far as we know?). They also still won this portion of the evening. I think these costumes are MILES SUPERIOR to their short program ones.
Riku Miura and Ryuichi Kihara, of Japan, pairs free skate
This routine was so smooth and soothing and calming and relaxing. They should play it in spas. (I also love the ombre on her skirt.)
Peng Cheng and Jin Yang, of China, pairs free skate
And these costumes are beautiful. My notes for them says, "this program has a lot of exciting gongs! And has so much SWELLING MUSIC which I love; basically I am obsessed with the Chinese pairs!!" And I am.
Misato Komatsubara and Tim Koleto/Takeru Komatsubara, of Japan, free dance
Over to ice dancing! We had some discussion of the name Tim Koleto is using currently on Friday; he has adopted "Komatsubara Takeru" as his Japanese name. His Wiki says "Upon becoming a Japanese citizen, Koleto legally adopted the Komatsubara surname, as Japanese law requires couples to share a surname and he felt that 'to be Japanese but ask my wife to change to a foreign surname I thought was quite strange.' He chose the personal name Takeru after consulting his mother-in-law about what name she would have used if she had had another child." That is very sweet! He is still credited as Tim Koleto on his Wiki, and that is the name that NBC are the Olympics are using for him as well. To their performance: I think ice dancing is going to be a delight to watch this year. All these programs were beautiful, including this one. Her costume is LOVELY.
Wang Shiyue and Liu Xinyu, of China, free dance
And Wang Shiyue and Liu Xinyu are SO BEAUTIFUL (like as humans), even though they look like they're doing the funky chicken in this shot. Their costumes are also gorgeous.
Wang Shiyue and Liu Xinyu, of China, free dance
I just wanted to show you this amazing move. She looks like she's literally flying.
Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier, of Canada, free dance
His mustache might work better for their Elton John routine but, listen: He's handsome. They must listen to a lot of oldies radio, because this free skate was to a cover of "The Long and Winding Road." Johnny Weir called it "mittens," which was adorable -- he meant it was cozy and warm and comforting.
Victoria Sinitsina and Nikita Katsalapov of Russian, free dance
My notes: "This is kind of a going out top from the back and sides." (It's overall very romantic and angelic but Forever21 didn't NOT sell a version of this in 2003.)
Victoria Sinitsina and Nikita Katsalapov of Russian, free dance
One of you pointed out on Friday that a lot of the men this year are wearing untucked shirts, and it's TRUE. It sort of lets the men flutter in the wind as well?
Madison Chock and Evan Bates, of the United States, free dance
But this routine is AMAZING and no one's costumes were as brilliant as theirs. He looks fine -- he's an astronaut, it's reasonable -- but she is an alien and the thought that went into her costume is outstanding.
Madison Chock and Evan Bates, of the United States, free dance
That ruffle down the back is like a spine; the beading on the side is like an alien exoskeleton. It's SO clever. (They too are dating IRL. I do think that if you are skating with someone and your sexual preferences align, it would be nearly impossible not to at least sleep together ONCE. I just think it would happen!!! You spend so much time together! You're enacting romance at each other for hours at a time! You are touching all the time! In order to successfully perform, you have to truly trust each other. Even if you hate each other's personalities, and it's never a long term thing and never even happens again....I just feel it would be impossible to resist.)
Madison Chock and Evan Bates, of the United States, free dance
Even the silver lipstick. Perfect.
