Katy Perry
Girl. That is a giant-ass 18-Hour Nursing Bra blinged up with crushed glass and pinned to a shower curtain. You are the Guardian Angel of the fourth floor of Bloomingdales.
But I don't find this to be as attention-whorey as Gaga's was. Namely because it didn't require eight handlers and a litter. There is plenty of room on the red carpet for other people. Turns out angel wings are actually CONSIDERATE.
Katy Perry
But the wings make a HEART, see? Because it's almost Valentine's Day! But NOT Valentine's Day. what is the cutoff, do you think? Like, if the Grammys were on Feb. 11, would we be dealing with all these twee homages to love?
Katy Perry and Russell Brand
I don't know if you remembered this, but apparently Katy Perry and Russell Brand are married. I KNOW. It's really hard to tell. NOBODY ever talks about it.
Actually, the thing I find weirdest about this photo is not, in fact, the part where Katy Perry is wearing wings. Instead, it's the fact that it feels like I'm leafing through somebody's wedding album -- you know, the shot that's framed with the couple to one side, sharing a smooch in the shadows as if they think it's illicit. And I think THAT is why the avian theme doesn't surprise me -- I mean, if anyone might have worn wings on her wedding day, it would be Katy Perry.
Katy Perry and Grandma Perry
HOWEVER, I did think it was sort of cute that she brought her 90-year old grandmother to the awards. Her Grammy! At the Grammys! I am so easy.
Grandma Perry
AND she brought a BeDazzled cane, which apparently Katy did for her. Right on, Perry family. If you are going to cane it up, do it the sparkly way.
Katy Perry
Katy changed into this for the most awkward moment of the night: The slow, heartfelt ballad she performed, which really underscored that her niche is, and should always be, shouting along to peppy dance music. Because when she breaks it down and tries to get real with us, it sounds like a cat going through a fax machine.
Katy Perry
Her skirt turned out to be a GIANT CURTAIN onto which they projected footage of her vows with Russell Brand (and I almost wrote Russell Crowe, which... VERY DIFFERENT COUPLE). I suspect Russell appreciated the sentiment, but as he listened, turned to someone in the crowd and said, "Well... yeah, but have you SEEN her breasts?"
Katy Perry
This is quite pretty, actually. I wish she'd worn this on the Grammy red carpet.
Katy Perry
I guess the whole front is supposed to be the spread of this bird's wings. It's a little weird -- I wouldn't want to find myself standing behind her and have this beaked crabapple yelling at me -- but I actually sort of think it's funky. Because the motif is really subtle from the front, and from the back it's only a semi-aggressive surprise.