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# ACM Fug or Fab Carpet: Nicole Kidman
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/acm-fug-or-fab-carpet-nicole-kidman-04-2011/
- Published: 2011-04-04T21:00:22.000Z
- Updated: 2019-04-27T05:13:25.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: Awards & Galas, Dialogues, Fug or Fab, Academy of Country Music Awards, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30

KEITH: Come on, pookie face, give the cameras some love.

NICOLE: No.

KEITH: Awwwww, who's being a crankypants?

NICOLE: Shut up.

KEITH: Are my little Crabby Drawers? Are you?

NICOLE: Stop it! I just... I don't want to break my streak.

KEITH: What streak?

NICOLE: The one where I wear something perfect when I'm your date to something, and then go all crazy when it's you being the plus-one.

KEITH: Let your public decide.

NICOLE: I don't know...

KEITH: Pleeeeeeease?

NICOLE: Okay, fine.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/04/nicolekidman_111502057.jpg "Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban")

NICOLE: HERE. Are you happy?

KEITH: So happy. You've got fur shoulders and a snakeskin body stocking. It's like a DREAM. Why are you not on some deliciously campy nighttime soap opera?

NICOLE: Because those shows don't exist anymore.

KEITH: Change that! You're NICOLE KIDMAN.

NICOLE: I just... I'm not sure this really LOOKS very good. It's a bit... flimsy. And my hair seems depressed. Even YOUR hair seems depressed, actually.

KEITH: Well, sometimes my hair gets mad at my soul patch. They squabble. Kids, you know?

NICOLE: Do you mind giving me a moment alone to think?

KEITH: Sure, peachtree. Whatever you want.

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/04/111501656.jpg "Nicole Kidman")

NICOLE: Hi, America. Now that I'm not married to Scientology, I can come to you earnestly and pray that you really like this?