Jake Owen
Why is he looking at ME weirdly? I am not the one dressed like a man who's lost the rest of his wedding band.
Dustin Lynch
THIS guy is cheesy in a way that I utterly cherish.
Frankie Ballard
This dude has a record out called "Sunshine & Whiskey," and he is not dressed like a guy who seems to love EITHER of those things. He looks more like an old-school casino crooner who likes canned air and vodka with a twist.
Jon Pardi
His hair kind of matches all the scrolly swirly things.
Keith Urban
He has a new crop. You're going to think I'm insane, but he reminds me of Megan Boone from The Blacklist with her actual hair (from the start of the season anyway). Right? A little? Now I'm sad that he and James Spader aren't a criminal-catching duo.
Hunter Hayes
"But first, Rod, let's show our middle school kids what they could WIN!"
Wayne Newton and Rascal Flatts
WAYNE NEWTON: "THESE guys.
DUDES ON THE RIGHT: "No, THIS guy. THIS is the guy."
MIDDLE DUDE: This point-off appears to anoint me the winner. Danke schoen.
WAYNE NEWTON: Don't be sassy with me, kid. I've got bronzer pots bigger than you.
Chris Janson
That hat is bringing me AND him down.
Kip Moore
Is he the Ashton Kutcher 2005 of country music?
Scotty McCreery
He always looks quite proper. I appreciate it in one so young.
Jerrod Niemann
He looks like a very fancy character on Thomas the Tank Engine.
The Cadillac Three
I enjoy the mix of hardcore country dude and Ozzy Osbourne. Rayna Jaymes was trying to sign The Cadillac Three to her label, and failed. Good move, guys, and that's only PARTLY because it's fictional.
Shay Mooney
Too irregularly iridescent.
LoCash Cowboys
... Yeah, I think their shtick goes with the name.
Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J
Ladies may love Cool James, but Cool James loves ANY awards show.
Florida Georgia Line
Which one will Florida claim as its own, and which one will belong to Georgia?
Guy Fieri
No.