Nicole Richie
This gown actually MIGHT steal some Emmy thunder, in the sense that I don't think anyone will wear anything this hideous on Sunday. That thing looks like it has a disease.
Cote de Pablo
The memo also apparently said, "LOTS of fabric windows, please. You know, the ones we're totally sick of seeing everywhere? Yeah. Those."
Christina Aguilera
I can't even focus on her dress because I'm so concerned somebody applied her foundation with a squirt gun.
Christina Aguilera
I think the angle of this photo is misleading, and let's say no more about that. I'm just trying to show you the purple hair. You're not a My Little Pony, hon.
StayC
Two things: One, you never want to be Christina Aguilera and be doing the same thing on the red carpet as somebody named StayC, who sounds like she's named after an As Seen On TV product that injects vitamin C into your jugular. And two, I'm legitimately concerned one of these ladies is a margarita way from tattooing a glittery constellation on her hindquarters and then stamping MATTEL underneath her feet.
Fernanda Romero
So, this is interesting: According to Wikipedia, Fernanda here -- a singer -- was arrested in 2010 for immigration fraud. And convicted of it. But was never deported, and is in fact still here. Which seems inconsistent. I have no desire to turn this into a discussion of immigration/deportation, but I feel like WHATEVER your policy is going to be, consistency is key, no? Also key: boob tape.
Roselyn Sanchez
Ah, the International House of Boobcakes. We know you well here in Fug Nation.
Madeleine Stowe
I was trying to come up with another restaurant metaphor here, but the best reference I could muster was Red Lobster, because the titular creature has things that are pinchy. Surely you can do better in the comments.