Carrie Underwood

Let's talk about the dress, though: I love the purple, and I like the basic idea, but all that waist bling might be a WEE bit of overkill. They're like incredibly glamorous potholders. If Elizabeth Taylor (RIP) ever baked anything, she would have dragged it out of the oven and thrown it at Richard Burton while wearing those.

Carrie Underwood

Point one: I love those earrings.

Point two: This is where I started to suspect that perhaps the ACMs brought their own wind machine.

Carrie Underwood

Right? Either that, or Carrie was multi-tasking by shooting a Pantene ad on the red carpet.

Carrie Underwood

Per usual, Carrie changed clothes for her performance, and she chose some sort of zip-up corset, a tutu, and a microphone that may or may not be where Stevie Wonder gets his hair. Why is she all kitted out like some kind of clean country Ke$ha? Well, because she was not performing alone.

Carrie Underwood

CARRIE: Who is this woman?

STEVEN: It's STE-E-E-E-EEEEE-VEEEEEEN.... Tyler.

CARRIE: ... Are you sure?

STEVEN: Yes, it's CRAAAAA-ZYYYY, craaaa-zyyyyy, crazy....

CARRIE: You smell like feet.

STEVEN: Feet in an elevatorrrr, WOOOOOOO!

CARRIE:So because I won Idol, and you're hosting Idol, that means you have to perform with me?

STEVEN: Yeeeeeeeeeah!!!!

CARRIE: And you're wearing pants and a giant coat and some scarfy thing? That's totally MY thing. You're like a cross between me and Miley Cyrus.

STEVEN: And it's AMAYYYYYYYY-ZIIIIING.

Carrie Underwood and Steven Tyler

CARRIE: It kind of IS. I find myself strangely attracted to you.STEVEN: Get in line.

ACM Fug or Fab Carpet/Performance Hmmmm: Carrie Underwood

Of the approximately thirty country music awards shows, the ones that don't let Carrie Underwood host are the most boring, because I enjoy her ten costume changes. Even Carrie seems like she had a little trouble drumming up enthusiasm, because seriously, WHAT is happening with her mouth? It's like someone told her to tense it up, or something, as some sort of photo trick... whatever the intention, in the end, she just looks like a tremendously insincere rabbit (which I'm guessing is NOT the ideal, since the only bunny we care about this time of year is the cheerful one who hides chocolate in our house for us to find two months later). Then again, knowing what was coming for Carrie later in the night, maybe this is just the face of trepidation. Why? You'll see. [poll id="2142"]