Alicia Silverstone
She looks great. I don't understand why she's not working all the time. I know she's had some failed attempts at TV, but that would be a great medium for her -- there HAS to be something in development that could utilize her charms, right? It's CHER HOROWITZ, people. It's the Aerosmith girl. At the very least can't she SCANDALize someone?
Jenna Ushkowitz
This works too. Even the butler's pull doesn't bother me.
Sarah Silverman
Bunchy and baggy, yet also squeezing out her boob like it's toothpaste from a tube. In other words: very close, and yet, the cigar is still in someone else's humidor.
R. Kelly
He just always looks, to me, like he's taking a break from running a covert op in some woman's backyard shrubberies.
Florida Georgia Line
Those are some shiny shirts. That whole ensemble on the right is intense -- like if Joseph took his technicolor dreamcoat to Nashville.
Ariana Grande
She has the awkward problem of being 20 years old, but being SO tiny and looking so young that every time she dresses up I feel like I'm watching a pre-teen pageant. It's not something she can HELP, beyond hiring a more creative styling team, which would be advisable. But as I noted on Twitter, BIG props to her for walking out on stage, just like this, and singing her song without resorting to hot pants and cartwheeling dogs or whatever. She has pipes, she used them, and it was super effective.
Jake Owen
That t-shirt under there is so very, very cheesy.
Zendaya
My brain can't even process this.
Jordin Sparks
Everyone, please stop erasing your lips. Also, Jordin looks great, and something about the style of this dress is... enwidening. Which really should just be "widening" except that "enwidening" sounds more dramatic.
Justin Timberlake
He looked good. Here is my important question: Does he straighten his hair, or did he get one of those keratin treatments? Or is his pomade just THAT powerful?
Billy Ray Cyrus
I had to feature him again, because the level of ridiculousness of this situation is VERY HIGH. We're at Poser Defcon 1.