> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # American Fugdol: The Fug So Fug - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/american-fugdol-the-fug-so-fug-gallery/ - Published: 2011-05-04T15:00:09.000Z - Updated: 2011-05-02T20:34:14.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:27 ## Hola hola hola ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2011/05/img_3910.jpg) "Lovers, this week, it was all about teaching you things about us. For instance, did you know Randy went to the University of Randy, where he got his letter on the Varsity Dawg Team and majored in Doing His Thing? And Hairosmith studied abroad at the Skintight Suit Farm on the Planet Ayyyyyy? And I have such balance and grace that I could have been a professional figure skater, if I had ever decided to learn how to do that? No! You did not know! If you did not have me, you would go to sleep tonight stupid!" ## Pee Wee Herman ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3913.jpg) "The first singer *anoche* is this person. The theme tonight was *Scarecrow and Mrs. King* songs, or something? I do not know, lovers. Music does not interest me, unless it is mine. And plaid does not interest me unless it is on a skirt David Beckham is wearing. HAHAHAHAHA. But I am not kidding." ## Pee Wee Herman Otra Vez ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3918.jpg) "I mean, *que*? What show is this? It is supposed to be *Jennifer: Lopez*, not *Mr. Rogers Goes To Clown College*." ## Grrr ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3919.jpg) "I am not impressed, lovers. I am going to slap him in the face. Pssst, I am also wearing illusion netting! Lovers, it's like I'm secretly 60 percent naked up here! And it looks way better than being 90 percent *loco*, like that Pee Wee kid." ## Mini-Me? ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3921.jpg) "Last week, lovers, the last two girls competed to try to be my new Mini-Me. Country Strong up here lost, so what did she do this week? GIANT EARRINGS." ## Whaaaa ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3929.jpg) "I am not amused. Did I not already pick a winner? Stop trying to blatantly suck up to me (psst, keep trying). It is not going to work (it will work). You cannot buy me (yes you can, and FOX did!!!11!). I am APPALLED (so happy!)." ## POLICE! HELP! ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3930.jpg) "Lovers, this conversation happened EXACTLY as I wrote it. EXACTLY. YO: RANDY. RANDY: *Perro*! YO: What is happening. Why does it have a child on its lap. RANDY: I don't know, *mi perro*, we should probably call the police and help her before it kidnaps the child. YO: Thank you, Randy, you are doing your thing so nice. RANDY: *De nada*, Jennifer, you are beautiful and I will pledge my eternal devotion to your spirit. ## Wheee! ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3937.jpg) "Ay, and then these two little boy-men came to play! They turned me around and said, '*Hola, mundo*, time to see Miss Jennifer's hot thigh,' and then I think my soulmate on the right up there proposed to me and finally I can be free of Marc FREEEEEE." ## Wheeee! ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3939.jpg) "What? He was just PLAYING? I AM GOING TO KICK HIM IN THE SAILOR PANTS." ## Fabuloso ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3940.jpg) "Lovers, on this night, let us all admit: I looked fantastic. And let us all admit, Aeroscarf looked *estupido*. And let us all admit that Randy is wearing a shirt with one of those little cards on it, the ones that you stick in a camera and it stores all the magic pictures. I saw Marc use one after he took pictures all night of my neck while I slept, which is how I know. I am very computer savvy, lovers. I know all about how hard to swing one when you want to slap your vampire in the head." ## No. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3947.jpg) "But lovers, this is a huge problem. That screen? That is the Jennifer Is The Most Beautiful Woman In The World screen. It is NOT the Crazy Face Makes Babies Cry screen." ## NO ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3949.jpg) "And it is NOT the Gun Face Wears Shower Sandals And Shoves His Pelvis All Up In Our Faces screen. It is in my CONTRACT that they cannot violate MY special screen with... wait, what? It is not in my contract? Can we shoot my stupid lawyers with Gun Face?! THAT IS MY SCREEN. HOW DID WE NOT THINK OF THAT? Because at any time, lovers, there is an 80 percent chance someone will declare me the most beautiful thing in the whatever! I SHOULD OWN THAT SCREEN." ## Muy Angry ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3952.jpg) "Ohh, lovers, I am getting redface just thinking about it." ## Heh? ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3964.jpg) "This week, Girl 1 and Girl 2 sang a duet. I do not know what it was about, but I think it was from that Romy and Michele movie, about the two very smart fans of primary colors who went back to their class reunion and invented revenge, or something. It is my favorite movie that I am not in! I have seen it at least half of one time." ## Wha? ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3960.jpg) "But Girl 1, what is that? It is a peekaboo of shame, lovers. OF SHAME." ## Whoozit ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3969.jpg) "And then this happened, lovers, which... she was last year's runner-up, when this show was *Simon: Waaah*. But I do not speak this language. It is like when Suckfleck talked all about the baseball, or Marc sings in whatever language that is. I do not follow and so go away and be on some other show where they care. If you do not speak the language of Jennifer then you should get off my *telenovela* before the evil chauffeur runs over your parents at their third wedding." ## Tee hee ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3975.jpg) "This photo, lovers, is my favorite kind of art: the kind where I show up! It was supposed to be a photo of Girl 1 as she was swearing on camera and Ryan was scolding her! And THEN it was going to be a DIFFERENT photo of my disapproving reaction to her swearing like a Pigfleck! But now: IT IS BOTH. We are hanging over her like GODS, lovers. GODS OF DISTASTE." ## Hat Man ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2011/05/IMG_3978.jpg) "And then, lovers, the show ended with the most boring thing ever, even worse than Girlie Dreadlocksox from before. This man's name -- I wrote it down, lovers, so I could do the Google and put mean things about him on the Intertubes! -- was Bruno Mars, and zzzzzzzzzzzzz. This performance looked like a bad college dorm-room jam session! Is Lopez: Me on cable access all of a sudden? I DO NOT THINK SO. This is not Wayne's World. It is MY WORLD. WATCH OUT. "Oh, and then Redbeard Dude went home, and my competing Mini-Mes survived to fight over me another week. Whee!" [American Fugdol: The Fug So Fug"Hola, lovers! Was this the worst episode so far of my show? Oh, I tried, lovers. I wore netting. I brought out big hair. I looked scoldy. But no. YAWN. I think maybe this week it was not my show. I loaned it to Stupidsmith and he RUINED IT with his magazine covers and his lady-scarves and his face. Si. That's it."![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2011/05/img_3910.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/american-fugdol-the-fug-so-fug/)