Ayesha and Steph Curry

Ayesha brought her own personal dress wrangler, in the form of Holey Moley exec producer Steph Curry. Oh yeah and he's also an NBA superstar and he hosted. He was VERY doting on this eve.

Sonya Curry

Sonya is a former volleyball player, and is mother of Steph, and she looks FANTASTIC. The dark silver dress, the cropped jacket... it's just really, really slick.

Aly Raisman (gymnast)

This seems a LITTLE bit high-school Prom?

Suni Lee (gymnast)

Whereas Suni Lee went full sexy glam.

Jordan Chiles (gymnast)

And this is ALSO fab. By comparison, Aly got stuck in something that looks like it came from the juniors department.

Diamond DeShields (WNBA)

This is unusual and cool, and she looks like she's about to dunk on a bull.

Christen Press, Tobin Heath (soccer)

Apparently these two are dating, although soccer fans have been speculating -- or just fan-fictioning -- about it for eons? I love this for them in equal measure to my dislike for Christen's bralet top (which would be fine AS a bralet, but as a shirt... it's not one). Well, okay, no, I love it for them more. But you feel me.

Bryce Young (college QB)

He is certainly committed to representing the Crimson Tide. I like it, but the shirt looks so crinkly under there.

Taurean Prince (NBA)

I'm thrilled by the array of colors you are about to see in the men's suits.

Joe Haden (cornerback)

Love the lime; is he wearing FASHION CLEATS?

Titus O'Neil (wrestler)

Another good one! The men are on fire.

Jarred Vanderbilt (NBA)

Roy G. Biv CLEARLY reported for duty.

Travis Kelce

The baby blue here is nice, and the subtle pattern on the shirt. I am picking up what he's putting down.

Evander Kane (NHL)

This would make great powder room wallpaper!

Terrell Owens (former WR)

And here we have T.O. bringing in some pattern.

Von Miller (NFL)

And more!

Dikembe Mutombo (ex-NBA)

"Excuse me, but I also delivered you a pattern."

Malcom Jenkins (ex-NFL)

This is MAXIMUM PATTERN. It's also a drawstring-waist jumpsuit, and it looks like someone cut up pieces of a treasure map, threw them in the air and watched them land, then turned the result into a fabric.

PJ Tucker (NBA)

We even got some surprise shorts here.

Layshia Clarendon

I don't love the massive logo-off of the Gucci x adidas belt, but at least that's the ONLY thing going on here, so it all hangs together a bit better.

Eileen Gu

This is snappy.

Nneka Ogwumike and Chiney Ogwumike (WNBA)

I am into both of these -- the caftan matches my current mood, and the purple dress is just a full-on I'm Going Dancing situation.

Kristi Yamaguchi

I demand a shoe intervention for the otherwise divine Ms. Yamaguchi, please.

Lindsey Vonn

She looks superb. Jessica opined that she has a new stylist, and I think she IS definitely getting guidance from a more accomplished hand these days. This fits her like a glove and is so refined.

Cooper Kupp (WR)

This neckbeard puts the NHL playoffs to shame. I sincerely do think only about 10 percent of this topiary is on his actual face.

Lisa Leslie (WNBA legend)

Lisa always looks great (I love her purse). I also don't have a credit on the lady standing next to her, but she looks pulled right from a Kate Spade show. That is not an insult, by the way.

Allyson Felix (sprinter)

This bad idea is the one thing Allyson couldn't outrun.

Michelle Wie West (golf)

That looks like she's going to have to cut it off.

Megan Rapinoe (soccer)

Aw, I miss the pink hair! But the jacket is nifty.

Metta Sandiford-Artest (ex-NBA, ex-Ron Artest, ex-Metta World Peace)

I assume he is pointing delightedly at whoever remembered that he changed his name right when Covid hit. I did NOT, and neither did Informative Caption; I learned it when I googled to confirm his spelling of "Metta."

Odell Beckham Jr. and family (NFL WR)

Well that little noodlecake is CUTE and I hope this was not too loud for him.

Alysha Newman (pole vault)

I believe she has tied Alison Brie for "Most WHAAAAT" at this event. It's like her left half has a job on Days of our Lives, skulking around Salem in a bush so that no one will know she's back from the dead, and her right half is doing naked yoga in front of floor-to-ceiling windows.

Declan Farmer (ice sled hockey)

I am not sure those sunglasses are making him look hotter. His suit is great, though.

Salli Clavelle (scout, NFL)

Salli was the first Black female scout in the NFL -- she works for the 49ers -- and I love to see that. It is overdue for pro teams with male athletes to recognize how much women can contribute. Not enough of them, mind you. But Salli gives me hope.

Veronika Khomyn and Sean McVay

At this point, just make it a minidress.

Klay Thompson (NBA)

Those... are not your ideal shades, Klay.

Iman Shumpert (NBA)

His pants look like he has dental floss hanging from them.

Trinity Rodman (soccer)

Yes, she's Dennis's daughter, and she's the highest-paid player in the NWSL at only age 20. She has two goals in seven games with the US national team. I'm excited for next year's World Cup already. By then hopefully Law Roach will get her number.

Morgan Mitchell (track and field)

I am tired of Sheers competing for the national title. Can't another team come along and unseat them?!?

Chloe Kim

That doesn't look especially fun to wear.

Mookie Betts

YES, MOOKIE. Keep up the hattitude.

Mikaela Shiffrin

... did her mice go on strike?

Draymond Green

I enjoy his sartorial ode to his last name. I hope his companion is wearing anti-chafe ointment.

Brandi Chastain

She looks like she is also recreating teen dance memories. I hope she and Aly spiked the punch.

Aaron Donald

He looks right out of Jumanji. Does Dr. Bravestone have a cousin?

Katie Ledecky

This is so GOOD. Much like Katie in the water, it's doing all the technical work flawlessly, with a damn near unbeatable result.

Maybelle Blair

Maybelle played for the All-American Girls' Baseball League, has had an extremely interesting and varied professional and post-retirement life, and just -- at the age of 95 -- came out as a lesbian while promoting the new A League of Their Own tv series. She deserves to LIVE IT UP and I hope she is.

Sportsfolks Busted Out Their Funky Finest at the ESPYs

All told, they might've done better than the regular celebs.