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Allison Janney

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (9765102ch) Allison Janney ESPY Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 18 Jul 2018

Imagine you're the current Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner. And you've got a CBS sitcom to promote, at a sports-oriented awards show during the All-Star break. This is EXACTLY what you wear.

Alison Brie

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Michael Buckner/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (9765101ay) Alison Brie ESPY Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 18 Jul 2018

I love her, and this should NOT be this droopy -- from top to toe.

Chadwick Boseman

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (9765102cr) Chadwick Boseman ESPY Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 18 Jul 2018

"PLEASE don't make me go out for Italian food after this. LOOK AT MY PRISTINE ENSEMBLE!"

Eiza Gonzalez

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Michael Buckner/Variety/REX/Shutterstock (9765101bc) Eiza Gonzalez ESPY Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 18 Jul 2018

I feel like this look -- which is low-key, yet bosom-y -- absolutely sings, "please remember that I am a living person, who also realizes this event isn't about her!" Which, despite how rudely that reads, is kinda a compliment.

Jessica Szohr

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock (9765193bl) Jessica Szohr ESPY Awards, Los Angeles, USA - 18 Jul 2018 2018 ESPY Awards

However, I have a question: WHAT IS VANESSA FROM BROOKLYN THINKING?!

Olivia Holt

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stewart Cook/REX/Shutterstock (9765102bz) Olivia Holt ESPY Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 18 Jul 2018

This dress is both super cute AND kinda aggressive, which sounds like some dudes I've dated.

Behold! Celebrities Who Went to the ESPYs To Promote Other Stuff!
These people are NOT athletes, okay?

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