Bella Hadid and the Demi-Naked Cannes Crew at amfAR

Bella Hadid in Ralph & Russo

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Cap d'Antibes, FRANCE - The amfAR Gala Cannes 2017 at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc. Pictured: Bella Hadid BACKGRID USA 25 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

Okay, well, let's start with a compliment. This is a very beautifully made garment. It's meticulous and ethereal. It fits her like a dream. If she were on a runway, sure. But she's not, and that's where this basically comes across like the world's most expensive swimsit coverup.

Then again, it's not a thong, like Rita Ora and -- even more nakedly -- Kendall Jenner have deployed. It's doesn't have a heavy-duty crack seam, like Bella's Met Gala bodysuit. It is more than just boob patches. And it might not even technically be the nakedest thing she's ever worn, compared with this or even her infamous leggings, which were made of cloth and yet somehow just as revealing. And at least this is beautiful, unlike the see-through Dior shitslice she wore. Obviously it's insane that we have to get granular about whether this is even a big deal in the realm of nakedness, but not for nothing, there isn't even any sideboob.

Shanina Shaik

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Antibes, FRANCE - Stars attend the amfAR Gala Cannes 2017 during the 70th Cannes Film Festival at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Cap d'Antibes, France. Pictured: Shanina Shaik BACKGRID USA 25 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

What's that we were just saying about sideboob?

Lady Victoria Hervey

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Cap d'Antibes, FRANCE - The amfAR Gala Cannes 2017 at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc on May 25, 2017 in Cap d'Antibes. Pictured: Lady Victoria Hervey BACKGRID USA 25 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

And at least Bella's looks well secured. Lady V had better not hug anyone or else it's Nips Ahoy.

Winnie Harlow

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Cap d'Antibes, FRANCE - Celebrities attend the amfAR Gala Cannes 2017 at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Cap d'Antibes, France. Pictured: Winnie Harlow BACKGRID USA 25 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

And THIS is plenty naked ALSO, as if we are in some kind of damn fool race.

Millie Mackintosh

For the Made in Chelsea fans: What is Millie doing. Her cape might not even be attached to anything other than her neck.

Elsa Hosk

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Cap d'Antibes, FRANCE - Celebrities attend the amfAR Gala event at Cannes 2017 located at Hotel du Cap Eden Roc in Cap d'Antibes, France. Pictured: Elsa Hosk BACKGRID USA 25 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

Look, it's none of my business how a Sugar Plum Fairy spends her night off.

Karolina Kurkova in Marchesa

Originally I built this in decreasing order of nudity. But the longer I stare at this, the more concerned I am that it's more sheer than I want it to be.

Jasmine Tookes

This one was mostly solid from the front, but had sideways surprises. I don't even know. NUDE IS NUDE.

Izabel Goulart in Zuhair Murad

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Antibes, FRANCE - Guests pose at the 2017 amfAR Gala held during the Cannes Film Festival. Pictured: Izabel Goulart BACKGRID USA 25 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

This is more nude-LOOK than nude-nude. It's very pretty. But I don't want to stare at her crotch to try and discern whether it's safely secured.

Bella

This is some bonus Bella from earlier, because I didn't know where else to put it, and it's germane to our conversation. It also REALLY REALLY tweaks the part of me that HATES when I look down and realize my skirt has swiveled around.

** RIGHTS: ONLY UNITED STATES, BRAZIL, CANADA ** Rome, ITALY - Bella Hadid dinner out in Rome with a mystery man. The model is joined by celebrity hairstylist and friend, Jen Atkin. Bella shows off her amazing figure in a black cut out gown. Pictured: Bella Hadid BACKGRID USA 23 MAY 2017 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*

Y'know, just a casual dinner in a dress that makes her left boob look like it fell off.