VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Kim Kardashian (R) arrives at Venice Marco Polo airport ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Stefano Mazzola/GC Images)
This is, politely, the dumbest shit I have ever seen and Pierpaolo Piccioli's Balenciaga era cannot start soon enough.
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Kim Kardashian arrives ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
Yes, put that hoodie on over your boob mask, Kim. That is the correct move.
Kris Jenner
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Kris Jenner ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
Meanwhile Kris looks like she's going to an elaborate funeral.
Khloe Kardashian
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Khloé Kardashian arrives at Venice Marco Polo airport ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Stefano Mazzola/GC Images)
And Khloe is in a leopard unitard. MMMKAY. She's a jacket away from being a Pink Lady.
Lauren Sanchez
Lauren Sanchez and US founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos (not pictured), leave the Aman Hotel in Venice on June 25, 2026. Celebrities in superyachts sail into Venice this week for the three-day wedding party of Amazon tycoon Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez, despite irate locals who say the UNESCO city is no billionaire's playground. The tech magnate and journalist have reportedly invited about 200 guests to their multi-million dollar nuptials in the Italian city, which are expected to kick off on June 26 and end Saturday with a ceremony at a secret location. (Photo by Stefano Rellandini / AFP) (Photo by STEFANO RELLANDINI/AFP via Getty Images)
"PEEKABOO!"
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 25: Jeff Bezos And Lauren Sanchez are sighting ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 25, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Ernesto S. Ruscio/GC Images)
I haven't seen anyone else emerge from this giant tent, so is this just her private staging area? Also, admittedly, this dress is great on her. She took some notes.
Barry Diller
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 25: Barry Diller arrives at Marco Polo airport in Venice ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's wedding on June 25, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
Barry is like, "Who even fucking cares."
Diane von Furstenberg
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 24: Diane Von Furstenberg arrives at Venice Marco Polo Airport ahead of the wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez on June 24, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Stefano Mazzola/GC Images)
This might be delightful.
Tom Brady
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Former NFL quarterback Tom Brady arrives at Venice Marco Polo airport ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Stefano Mazzola/GC Images)
NO BULL, huh, Tommy? (He merged his brands with this company and is now a shareholder, so he's promoting himself in a way, but also like... the irony.)
Corey Gamble
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 25: Corey Gamble is seen ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's wedding on June 25, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
Is he in a Cowboy Carter shirt???
Kim Kardashian
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Kim Kardashian is seen ahead of the Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez wedding at Hotel Gritti on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
We've now moved onto pictures of people heading to the first event, for which Kim appears to have sprayed herself freshly. I would guess that's D&G just because she was hanging out with Domenico Dolce earlier.
Khloe
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Khloé Kardashian is seen ahead of the Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez wedding at Hotel Gritti on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
And that was Khloe whose butt was facing us in the previous photo. I've decided the overlay is an ode to pigeons.
Kendall and Kylie
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Kendall Jenner is sighting ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images)
Assuming these are also D&G. Kylie's is pretty terrible, honestly. The little intentionally visible pink bra is awful with that yellow. Kendall's looks like she's going to an 11th grade dance.
Victoria Ceretti
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Vittoria Ceretti is sighting ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding at Hotel Gritti on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images)
She is Leo's ladyfriend, and for this romantic occasion she has chosen an outfit that looks partially digested.
Leo
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Leonardo Di Caprio is sighting ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding at Hotel Gritti on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images)
He is doing this in every photo we have of him. My dude. If you do not want to be seen at this widely photographed event, then what does that tell you?!? NO ONE IS MAKING YOU GO.
Orlando Bloom
British actor Orlando Bloom gets on a taxi boat at the Gritti Palace Hotel ahead of the wedding of Amazon's founder Jeff Bezos with Lauren Sanchez in Venice on June 26, 2026. Celebrities in superyachts sail into Venice this week for the three-day wedding party of Amazon tycoon Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez, despite irate locals who say the UNESCO city is no billionaire's playground. The tech magnate and journalist have reportedly invited about 200 guests to their multi-million dollar nuptials in the Italian city, which are expected to kick off on June 26 and end Saturday with a ceremony at a secret location. (Photo by Marco BERTORELLO / AFP) (Photo by MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP via Getty Images)
Whereas Orlando is like, "It's me! Have we all seen me? Single, H-O-T-T-O-G-O me???
Lauren Sanchez in Schiaparelli
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez get on a taxi boat at the Aman Hotel in Venice on June 26, 2026. Celebrities in superyachts sail into Venice this week for the three-day wedding party of Amazon tycoon Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez, despite irate locals who say the UNESCO city is no billionaire's playground. The tech magnate and journalist have reportedly invited about 200 guests to their multi-million dollar nuptials in the Italian city, which are expected to kick off on June 26 and end Saturday with a ceremony at a secret location. (Photo by Stefano Rellandini / AFP) (Photo by STEFANO RELLANDINI/AFP via Getty Images)
This dress is a beautiful work of art but nobody's waist deserves that treatment. It also sits so wonkily on her top that it almost looks like she's standing behind a cutout.
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez are seen leaving the Aman Hotel in Venice ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Stefano Mazzola/GC Images)
I also really do not think it pairs well with the messy pony with the long tendril in front of her face. It looks like gym hair.
A Deck of Kards
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Corey Gamble, Kris Jenner, Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian are seen ahead of the Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez wedding at Hotel Gritti on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Luigi Iorio/GC Images)
If they ever decide to merge their show with Below Decks, that's my proposed title.
Gayle and Oprah
US journalist Gayle King (L) and US talk show host Oprah Winfrey get on a taxi boat as they leave the Gritti Palace Hotel ahead of the wedding of Amazon's founder Jeff Bezos with Lauren Sanchez in Venice on June 26, 2026. Celebrities in superyachts sail into Venice this week for the three-day wedding party of Amazon tycoon Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez, despite irate locals who say the UNESCO city is no billionaire's playground. The tech magnate and journalist have reportedly invited about 200 guests to their multi-million dollar nuptials in the Italian city, which are expected to kick off on June 26 and end Saturday with a ceremony at a secret location. (Photo by Marco BERTORELLO / AFP) (Photo by MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP via Getty Images)
Of course Oprah is there. Does Steadman still exist? Like, presumably he DOES, but is he agoraphobic? Maybe he's taking a page from Carl Dean's book of being married to an extremely famous person. But I like to think he loathes these people and refused to sully himself. Also here's Gail, wearing the chains she broke for all womankind when she became one of the first women to ever be in space in the HISTORY of space travel, except for all the other women who've done it.
Oprah
VENICE, ITALY - JUNE 26: Oprah Winfrey is sighting ahead of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Wedding at Hotel Gritti on June 26, 2025 in Venice, Italy. (Photo by Ernesto Ruscio/GC Images)
"You'll notice I didn't go to space." (Oprah's dress is cute.)
