Rihanna in 2002 Lacroix, and A$AP Rocky

Seriously, no one will be talking about his suit for very long, and everyone will be chuckling about her massive lid. And how terrible it looks on her! Who put the hanks of hair hanging in front of her face? This is RIHANNA. Her face can do anything and you're hiding it as much as you can.

See? You're hiding her light under a furry bushel. She had to WORK.

Most of the time she was trying to give fierce face, but it just made her look confused and angry. Which maybe she was. Maybe she had hat regrets. I do LOVE her shoes, though.

And of course her entire cheek is out. But this angle of her moving through the carpet is deeply funny to me. She looks like she skinned Sully from Monsters Inc.

Rita Ora

Rita always does something unpredictable at this; last year she wore a spiked spine, and the year before, a thong and prosthetic cheekbones. Steampunk Bowie is at least a refreshing angle. I don't think I've ever seen so many adornments on one hand.

Ambika Mod in Loewe

We've seen a couple of these Loewes out and about, but I'm not sure Ambika is carrying this that well, which is odd because she's also in the Loewe campaigns. I find she has anti-charisma on the red carpet -- she was okay in "One Day" but still not quite right there either -- and I just don't... feel this, at all.

Yvonne Orji

I wish she didn't look rained-on, but this dress is extremely cool. I LOVE that it explodes into some kind of exotic sea creature.

Nicola Coughlan in Gaurav Gupta

I LOVE this on her. She looks phenomenal. THIS is how a custom dress should fit: It honors her, it flatters her, it creates volume in an intelligent way.

Leomie Anderson in Iris Van Herpen

Bless her. She is always up to some shenanigans. She's like a beautiful gale force wind.

Mathilda Mace

If I have Googled correctly, Mathilda is a special effects artist. Normally I might not have covered her, but... nothing ELSE is covering her, which seems like exactly the point of this whole website. So, congratulations on creating 50 Shades of Borat.

Jourdan Dunn in Dior

Kinda makes Jourdan's micro-shorts pajamas seem downright dowdy.

Zeze Mills

Zeze is a TV presenter, I believe, but if you'd told me she was an Erykah Badu cosplayer I'd also believe it.

Lily McMenamy

Wake up, a new nepo baby just arrived! (She is model Kristen McMenamy's child.)(Also she's actually been modeling for a while; I just haven't personally noticed her before.)(But whew, the DNA runs strong in this one.)

Simone Ashley in Prada

I'm unmoved by the choppy bangs, but that's one of Prada's best-made frocks in a while, and one of her best. Crinkles and all.

Andrea Riseborough in Erdem

For once, it's not even Andrea's clothes that have me confused...

... it's the SHOES, Marty. Something's gotta be done about the shoes.

Julia Fox and Dilara Fındıkoğlu

Julia is posing with the designer of her ensemble. I guess... it's thoughtful that she didn't hoard all the nice stuff for herself? I am impressed by the depth of this heinousness, and her commitment to showcasing Julia's pubic bone.

Alex Consani in Dilara Findikoglu

Alex is the first trans woman to win Model of the Year. and she IS trying very hard to work this despite the fact that it has to be cutting off her circulation. This whole thing, with the weird shredded Union Jack fabric, is kind of serving Cosette, But Make It British Fashion.

Halle Bailey

She looks like she's wearing a shoppable Claire's Accessories rack, but it's working for her.

Laura Whitmore

Her bodice looks very... wolfy. Like a dark creature of the night has perked up it ears. I enjoy it, though. It's just OTT enough to be fun.

Roxy Horner

The coat is cute and all, but why is it doing ALL the work?

Sabrina Harrison

This outfit says, "Google me." And it worked. She is some kind of super successful dental entrepreneur?!? And obviously when you have invented a tooth whitening system, you celebrate by going full nip, nude lip, and a tusk of a fascinator. Sure.

Wallis Day

This outfit says, "GOOGLE ME TOO," but I decided I'd been manipulated enough for one night.

Ellie Goulding in Moncler

This is hilariously the opposite of the last two slides. At least she wasn't cold!

Sinead O'Dwyer

Sinead is a designer, who I assume is being her own billboard here. I assume her aesthetic is Drunk Petticoat.

Natasha Poonawalla

I might love this. I DEFINITELY want to hug it.

Caroline Polachek in McQueen

She is what you'd get if the sister from Fleabag were a performance artist.

Noomi Rapace

I did say this was for the big statement outfits, and what could be larger than those pants?

Rihanna's Enormous Vintage Hat Was the Biggest Statement of the British Fashion Awards

Or at least among the loudest.