Jodie Turner-Smith in Burberry

I wonder if she's backing away from Gucci a bit more, now that things are so uneven there. I don't mind this on her -- she clearly had fun styling it, and she's carrying it brilliantly.

Gemma Chan in Self-Portrait

There's a fair bit of Self-Portrait on display at this event, and this is one of the weaker ones. Gemma is so stunning, but this is just making her torso look like a storm trooper.

Issa Rae

We might have a new poster child for the epidemic of poorly fit bodices.

Maya Jama in Conner Ives

She is so stunning (she currently hosts Love Island over there, and Love Island Games here). This is sexy and phenomenal on her,.

Chloe Bailey

Yes, the bodice looks a bit like she's wearing oversize nipple covers, but I actually kind of like it on her. It's the makeup choices I'm questioning. Those are some Lucy Boynton style clumpy eyelashes.

Ashley Graham

Isn't she BORED at this point? It's not even CUTE and samey; it's LAZY and samey.

Marisa Abela in Mugler

This is at least a SLIGHTLY more interesting approach? Marisa also looks like someone mixed up the genetic material of Julia Ormond and Rachel Weisz.

Tems

I might have put this in the other slideshow, if she'd gone a little harder at the head-styling. Somehow it's laid-back enough to make the full-body feathers ALSO seem chill. (Interestingly, I believe there were also some anti-feather protesters present. I don't know whether hers are real.)

Daisy Ridley

This is what you get when you love your skirt, never found a shirt for it, and have what you believe is a very sharp serrated steak knife.

Precious Lee

This is a flop for me.

Lucien Laviscount

This is a little boring, too. Jazz it up, you two beautiful beings.

Selma Blair

I am not mad, I am not enamored; I'm not moved in one direction or another.

Joan Smalls in Self-Portrait

I don't love that this is so much mesh, but I still think this is a better Self-Portrait than Gemma's. It drapes well.

Kelly Rutherford

Very elegant.

Joe Jonas

Son, we don't need a Hipster Poirot, but thanks for playing.

Daisy Lowe

I LOVE that rich wine color on her. Wow.

Sabrina Elba in Victoria Beckham

This is so underwhelming. The half-hearted translucence is distracting from the dress's lovely lines, because it invites you to focus on whether you're staring at her shapewear.

Vick Hope

is this fashion? IS IT?

Ellie Bamber in Prada

She's pulling of chartreuse very impressively.

Ikram Abdi

This comes off like she wanted to wear it backwards so they sewed a random panel into it.

Lila Moss in McQueen 2003

I'm glad she went vintage for this. It's nice to honor this line's history.

Mona Patel in vintage Lacroix

This is pretty major on her. Mona is the one who wore little mechanized beige butterflies on her arms at the Met Gala. She clearly likes them. This ALSO would have worked there.

Stanley Tucci and Felicity Blunt

I just love them.

Bella Maclean

This is swingy and sexy.

Mia Regan

I believe she recently dated Romeo Beckham, which I guess is a way to get invited to wear a chest drape to this event. Bella's on the previous slide works much better.

Alexa Chung

The greased-back hair look doesn't serve her as well as her iconic fringe does.

Alessandra Ambrosio in Self-Portrait

This is on-brand and sexy.

Venus Williams in Thom Browne

Whereas this is rather a snore.

Billie Piper

Sure!

Alek Wek in Donna Karan 2014

Oooh a rare Donna Karan sighting. Interesting event at which to bust out an American designer's archives; the red looks majestic on her.

The Rest of the British Fashion Awards Were Only Slightly Less Dramatic

Led by Jodie Turner-Smith.