Katy Perry in vintage Pierre Cardin

Katy changed into a gold D&G for her performance -- interestingly her stylist has not put that one up yet -- but she started the night in vintage, and as a neat benefit, you can receive DirecTV through her sleeves.

with Orlando Bloom

Orlando looks like the cute European drifter/grifter who pretends he has a family fortune that he's been cruelly denied because of an evil sibling.

Emily Ratajkowski

I do not feel like a maximum, or even really a minimum, of effort was made here.

Maria Bakalova in Mônot

A lot of people wore this Mônot line to this party, and while her stylist has generally done a good job for her, this MUST have been obligatory on some level because it really does not work on her. The original had spaghetti straps, and maybe they would have helped this look like it wasn't falling off?

Heidi Klum in Elie Saab

Heidi looks nice, but I really wish she'd done something else with her makeup. This is all so beige.

In which I learned that I cannot hold a mental image of what her husband looks like.

Leni Klum in Versace

And Leni looks lovely, but I'm not sure the top of this dress was sized correctly for her.

Flavio Briatore

But here's drama: Flavio was dating Heidi when Heidi got pregnant with Leni -- which I phrase that way because, while Leni is biologically his, he has not been involved. Heidi she started dating Seal before she gave birth and has always referred to Seal as Leni's father -- and in fact in 2009 Briatore allowed Seal to adopt her formally. (I got all that from Wikipedia.) All of which is to say: Think they were at the same table?

Eiza Gonzalez in Delcore

Lilypads, but make it SOLANGE. Mission accomplished. Well, except for getting the actual Solange.

Barbara Meier in Versace

Barbara is wearing the remake of the infamous J.Lo dress, which J.Lo ALSO wore on the runway, and I applaud her chutzpah for wearing ANYTHING that has graced the body of La Lopez.

Dylan Penn and Olivia Culpo in Mônot

More Mônot, one of which has a bite out of it and the other of which was designed by Charlie Brown during one of his football-related concussions.

Tina Kunakey in Mônot

Today I learned that she's now married to Vincent Cassel. Emily Ratajkowski must have seen this dress and felt a flicker of envy that Tina got it first. It's RIGHT up EmRara Boulevard.

Vanessa Hudgens in Alexander Vauthier

An improvement!

Rose Bertram

Shrug. Convince me it isn't a bikini top. I don't have a credit on it, but it may also be Mônot, given that...

Lousita Cash in Mônot

... this is, and it has a similar stringy/bikini vibe. Although you could not do any actual fun swimming in this. Lounging on a raft, though, yes. I guess that IS fun swimming, in its own way.

Sabrina Elba

Sabrina left Idris at home on this night. i wonder if he, too, has questions about the physics of those thigh-highs. I don't see a top hook...?

Nathalie Kelley

Ooh, it's the first Krystle from the second Dynasty! She looks almost sedate compared to the rest of the crowd.

Cindy Bruna in Mônot

Have they brought on a Dominique Devereaux yet to the new Dynasty? Because I have a suggestion.

There Was a Starry Party in Capri This Weekend

Katy, EmRata, Heidi, and more.