Chrissy Teigen in Fyodor Golan
... I mean, she's doing this as well as it can be done? I love the shoe choice. But the dress really looks like she recently bought a pillowcase entitled Death Makes A Snow Angel.
Lucy Hale in Alex Perry
She looks FABULOUS in this. It's so cute, and it makes her look taller than she is, which is not easy with a dress of that length. Her lipstick is perfect, and she has bracelets... oh, Lucy. Thank you.
Amber Rose
Is her future really THAT bright?
Kelly Rowland
This is SUCH a Kardashian outfit, but I will say that Kelly is applying as much panache to it as is humanly possible.
Danica McKellar
Holy abs, Winnie Cooper.
Aubrey Peeples in Ted Baker
You might know Aubrey from "Nashville" (she doubtless hopes you have forgotten she was in "Sharknado") but you may NOT know that she is also playing JEM in the "Jem and the Holograms" movie that's filming right now. So, that's two big projects on the kid's resume, and NOBODY is giving her anything better to wear? Come on guys. Shell out for your star.
Kendall Jenner in Olcay Gulsen
She is good at reminding us that her legs are 100 miles long. I could actually see her being a decent model, which is the profession at which she's currently aiming -- certainly she has the right build for it. The thing about her is, if she were just some young girl on the cusp of Making It, we probably wouldn't think much of this, or would say something about how at least the pants are sparkly. But because her mother is Kris Jenner, I have this visceral instinct to roll my eyes, and that's not REALLY fair to Kendall -- at least, not until Kendall does something lame besides pretending to date Harry Styles for five minutes. I have to remind myself that she was dragged into this whole Planet Kardshia nonsense at a pretty young age and never really knew any other way to be, and that's not on her. AND FINALLY, the fact that I don't like that top, in the end, IS on her, so... sorry, Kendall.
Kendall Jenner
I mean, no.
Kylie Jenner
This one, I feel bad for, because I feel like there's a whole lot of THINKING going on behind the scenes to make her stand out. So they're trying to give her a punky edge some of the time, and gave her Katy Perry's hair, but they also look like they're recycling some old dress Kim rejected. It's strange - I feel like she is the Jenner that the family is somehow simultaneously paying the most AND the least attention to, like, "Oh, Kylie, I forgot about her -- shoot. What are we doing to DO? Fry the ends of her hair while I think about it and buy my plane tickets to Florence."
Charli XCX
I didn't have a picture of the rest of this dress. I don't think I need one.
MIranda Lambert
Serviceable and cute, but I HATE the shoes with it.
John Legend
This looks like it shrank overnight.
Iggy Azalea in Zuhair Murad
Is it insane that this works for me?
Estelle
Is it insane if this ALSO works for me? Actually, it might not. The more I look at it, the more I can hear the dude in Back To The Future saying, "Check out this guy's life preserver. Dork thinks he's gonna drown."
Shakira
I don't hate this, either (except it's another snorey pair of shoes). AM I LOSING MY MIND?
Sarah Hyland in Pucci
I need about 60 percent fewer zippers.
Shania Twain
This is ... I mean, it's Shania. That's all I've got. It's patchy and kind of tacky but not AWFUL but just sort of THERE and I kind of prefer her when she's batshit.
Ludacris
But THAT is cheerful. Thank you, Luda. You look like a magician at a five-year old girl's birthday party, and I somehow mean that in a good way.