Chloe Grace Moretz
This isn't totally terrible, and yet every part of it looks as though it originated from completely different outfits, possibly belonging to completely different people, all of whom like to think of themselves, privately, as the sartorial Zoe Saldana of their social circles.
Nicki Minaj
The new Nicki Minaj is like New Coke: I just want to go back to the way things were.
Shania Twain
Man! I feel like a bedspread.
Audrina Patridge
Listen, Audrina seems really nice -- I once sat next to her at my hair salon as we both got our hair colored and she was totally sweet to everyone -- but HOW IS SHE STILL HAPPENING?
Jennifer Nettles
I know she just recently had a baby, and SHE looks great. But surely this dress didn't fit the other nine times she tried it on, either. It's like a salute to Anne Hathaway's Memorial Oscar Nips, sponsored by Swarovski Crystals.
Recording Artist Andy Allo
When you have to be IDed by the photo service as "Recording Artist So-and-So," you might need to have a wee chat with your PR. Act like everyone knows who you are at all times! That being said, her senior thesis for the Santa Monica City College Yarn and Crotchet School of Knitwork here surely earned her an A.
Castmembers of Ka
Ka is the latest Vegas Cirque du Soleil extravaganza, and possibly also considering doing a line of clothing, given what they saw here tonight.
Z LaLa
Z LaLa does not have a Wikipedia page, but her Facebook page says, "Z LaLa's incongruous output causes "controver-z" and curiosity to her heterogeneous roots."
Which, basically, I am scared that one night she is going to wake up and Lady Gaga is going to be hovering over her holding a dull steak knife and tunelessly humming "Born This Way." Luckily, this ought to be sufficiently reflective so as to give her fair warning.