Each candidate will get to make a strong opening statement. This is Rita's. it encompasses everything: It's over the top, the shoes are terrible, we can see her undercrackers, it's lace AND fur AND leather AND feathers, and it makes me go, "BUT YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE!"
Gabrielle
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - FEBRUARY 26: Actor Gabrielle Union attends the 2017 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Graydon Carter at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 26, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
And here is Gabrielle's opening statement. It says, "Rrrrrrip. Tip your waxer!"And I am likewise saying, "BUT YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE," because I am everyone's grandmother now.
Rita
52121912 British singer Rita Ora is spotted out and about in New York City, New York on July 14, 2016. Rita was rocking a very a short silver dress during the outing. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
But it wasn't just Gabrielle's waxer who was on speed dial. This photo perfectly encapsulates the ABSURDITY of the outfit. She can get papped both ways at the same time.
Gabrielle
52219444 Actress Gabrielle Union attends an AOL Build Series event at the AOL Building in New York City, New York on October 10, 2016. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
This is one of the weirdest, worst casual ensembles of the year, for sure. Well, at least of the items that are recognizable as clothes.
Rita
52125477 Singer Rita Ora was out and about in New York City, New York on July 17, 2016. She wore a low cropped onesie that showed off some cleavage. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
I still don't get it. Also I've decided those glasses don't have real lenses in them. Does she even wear glasses for real? We may never know.
Gabrielle
MIAMI BEACH, FL - JUNE 10: Gabrielle Union attends the Ocean Drive Magazine Celebrates its May/June Issue with cover star Gabrielle Union at The Nautilus SIXTY on June 10, 2016 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images)
Those are ALSO some pants. Some Pants: The Lost Message Of Charlotte's Web.
Rita
52145072 Singer Rita Ora steps out in New York City, New York on August 10, 2016, Rita was rocking a red body suit as she made her way around town. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
Oops. She did it.
Gabrielle
52222941 Almost Christmas Premiere held at The Regency Village Theatre in Westwood, California on 11/3/16. Almost Christmas Premiere held at The Regency Village Theatre in Westwood, California on 11/3/16.
Gabrielle Union FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
This is curious to me because of the open shoulders on the blazer.
Rita
52133413 British singer Rita Ora is rocks a large denim shirt and Mets hat while out and about in New York City, New York on July 26, 2016. Rita is currently in NYC filming the new season of 'America's Next Top Model' after she was hired to replace Tyra Banks as the host of the hit US TV show. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
This is Rita's closest analogous outfit. It's a shirt...ish... thing. Neither is their personal worst, so that's something.
Rita
52155289 Singer Rita Ora is spotted stepping out in New York City, New York on August 25, 2016. Rita is currently in NYC filming the new season of 'America's Next Top Model' after she was hired to replace Tyra Banks as the host of the hit US TV show. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
Chloe Grace Moretz DID wear this as a shirt, in fact. It's unattractive both ways.
Gabrielle Union
52009851 Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Confirmation' at the Paramount Theatre in Hollywood, California on March 31, 2016. Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Confirmation' at the Paramount Theatre in Hollywood, California on March 31, 2016. Pictured: Gabrielle Union FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE
I am not a fan of the bra-look thing here, but her cleav DOES look good.
Rita Ora
52140840 British singer Rita Ora is spotted out and about in New York City, New York on August 4, 2016. Rita is currently in NYC filming the new season of 'America's Next Top Model' after she was hired to replace Tyra Banks as the host of the hit US TV show. FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876
From curious boobs to curious boots.
Gabrielle Union
Rita
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 02: Singer Rita Ora attends the "Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology" Costume Institute Gala at Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 2, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)
Blurgh.
Gabrielle
I liked this in theory -- how many times have I said THAT in my life -- but the top is REALLY squeezing out her left boob there.
Rita
LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 02: Rita Ora attends the premiere of Universal Pictures' "Fifty Shades Darker" at The Theatre at Ace Hotel on February 2, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Todd Williamson/Getty Images)
Drama.
Gabrielle
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 09: Gabrielle Union attends the 7th Annual amfAR Inspiration Gala at Skylight at Moynihan Station on June 9, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)
ALSO full of drama.
Rita Ora
52253928 Celebrities attend the Billboard Women In Music 2016 on December 9, 2016 in New York City. Celebrities attend the Billboard Women In Music 2016 on December 9, 2016 in New York City. People: Rita Ora FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE
No shortage of drama HERE either.
Gabrielle
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 24: Actress Gabrielle Union attends Common's 3rd Annual Toast To The Arts at Ysabel on February 24, 2017 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Earl Gibson III/Getty Images for Think Common Inc.)
No shortage of peekaboo.
Rita
52113855 Celebrities attend the Warner Brothers music party held at the Shore Ditch House in London, England on July 6, 2016. Celebrities attend the Warner Brothers music party held at the Shore Ditch House in London, England on July 6, 2016.
Pictured: Rita Ora FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: USA/CHINA ONLY
ALL peekaboo.
Gabrielle Union
TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 10: Actress Gabrielle Union attends the TIFF/InStyle/HFPA Party during the 2016 Toronto International Film Festival at Windsor Arms Hotel on September 10, 2016 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images)
I just do not understand why this is widening her so.
Rita Ora
LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 22: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY) Rita Ora attends The BRIT Awards 2017 at The O2 Arena on February 22, 2017 in London, England. (Photo by John Phillips/Getty Images)
And now, the parting shots. I wrote "parting shits" the first time, and really, that does feel appropriate here.
Gabrielle
HOLLYWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 21: Actress Gabrielle Union attends the Premiere 0f Fox Searchlight Pictures' "The Birth Of A Nation" at ArcLight Cinemas Cinerama Dome on September 21, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
