Kelsea Ballerini in Balenciaga
This outfit closed the blizzard show, which was from the era -- like, six months ago -- when Kim Kardashian was wearing a lot of full-coverage Balenciaga. Now that she has released her iron grip, I guess other people were hot for the late action. TOO HOT FOR IT. (Speaking of hot for it: Do we think she Botoxes her armpits to stop the sweat, or is she just not a person who perspires? For me, the car ride over would be enough for an armpit puddle.)
MacKenzie Porter
Mackenzie went without the gloves. She might look better in it? I like her makeup better, and that's really one of the only distinguishing factors other than the fact that I can see her manicure (dark polish, love it). And the no-glove choice evokes Kim Kardashian less, which somehow makes the dress feel less like it's glomming onto an Early 2022 vibe. Maybe?
Katy Perry in Marques' Almeida
I mean, if we're going to go here, I like the choker and the dark lipstick on the model better. It gives edge. But... did we really have to go here?
Carrie Underwood
"I've been waitin' all day for Wednesday niiiiight. That's when my brand new hot glue gun will arrive. I'm fixin' this fabric and stickin' out my thigh! You'll get an eyeful right here on Wednesday night." (If you don't watch football, she sings the theme on Sundays, set to "I Hate Myself For Lovin' You.")
Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain
Noted country stars Michael and Jessica have a single on the charts called, "Double My Appearance Fee and We've Got a Deal." (I'm kidding. These two are making a movie about George Jones and Tammy Wynette.)
Reba McEntire
Reba is Reba, A+, no notes.
Roshumba Williams
And SHE looks MARVELOUS. Wow.
Tiera Kennedy
I also think this is quite fun, and a better direction for Katy Perry to have explored.
Lionel Richie and Lisa Parigi
He's 73. She's 32 and younger than Nicole Richie. And they've been together since 2014, when she was 24. He may be an ageless icon, but that's a LOT of life in between their decades. Lionel, she needs a stylist who'll get her a bodice that fits properly, sir.
Priscilla Block
There will come a point in this evening where Priscilla will either have to drink a water and accept that she'll need 45 minutes to negotiate a bathroom break, or pass out. I hope she chooses the former.
Brothers Osborne
Osborne Beard is obviously the star of this photo. I want a whole song written about his journey to find the perfect coat for his brown corduroy suit. And then I want to know where he bought it. Other Osbourne is our anchor here with the blue suit. Sir, thank you for giving me a reason to put you in here so that the next slideshow isn't as long. You look swell.
Katie Stevens and Paul Digiovanni
Katie (The Bold Type) is married to a music producer who was nominated (spoiler: It's this guy) and they're having a baby, which is very exciting. Her dress is sort of tipping into periwinkle but who cares, count it. We're getting in the weeds here with some of my choices. She looks lovely.
The War and Treaty
Well. That's really gray-green, but it's a distant cousin to the, um, smoky teal family, which is clearly related to blue, COUNT IT. He looks swell. I love the turquoise jewelry. (ALSO IN THE BLUE FAM.)
Caitlyn Smith
It's... gives... a strong blue aura! COUNT IT! DECISIONS HAD TO BE MADE.