"Blue Jasmine" - UK Film Premiere - Red Carpet Arrivals

From the neck up, she looks great. La Blanchett is a radiant goddess and that isn't sarcasm: I love her. And that's why I want her to be able to move her arms at will.

"Blue Jasmine" - UK Film Premiere - Red Carpet Arrivals

Real talk: SHE WILL NOT BE GRACEFULLY ABLE TO LIFT A CHAMPAGNE GLASS TO HER MOUTH IN THIS. That cannot be allowed to stand. Even though I'd happily volunteer to be the woman who stands next to Cate Blanchett and raises her champers to her lips FOR HER, she should not be dependent on a minion to booze her.

"Blue Jasmine" - UK Film Premiere - Red Carpet Arrivals

This is just awkward, no two ways around it. And Blanchett is a lot of things, but awkward ain't one of them.

Blue Fugmine

Listen, I love her, but NO. This is a high-fashion straitjacket and if anyone needs to be able to move freely, it is the Divine Blanchett. FREE BLANCHETT. [Photos: Getty]