Kate Hudson in Elie Saab

Well, her legs are definitely breaking though! ZING! SEXY SCIENCE!!!!!!

Katy Perry in Gaurav Gupta

SEXY! SCIENCE! Doubly sexy because the science of this garment has you wondering if the result of this experiment will be her boobs escaping. The skirt is GORGEOUS but the top is insane.

This angle is not any more compelling.

Ed Norton, Shauna Robertson

Even Ed Norton's wife went slinky and occasionally transparents! SEXY SCIENCE!

Jessica Chastain in Gucci

This kind of feels like Gucci doing its best Prada imitation.

Lizzo

Lizzo's makeup looks like someone splashed some bad science into her face. She MIGHT be dressed as a demon?

Drew Barrymore

These are very respectably glam shoulder bags!

Gillian Anderson in Akris

Is this... sexy Tetris? And Gillian, WHAT are the beige shoes doing here?

Olivia Wilde in Erdem

This dress is sitting so absurdly low on her that all I can do is laugh. We could use a scientific breakthrough that helps us understand why dressmakers can't figure out torso measurements.

Also, a sidebar to note that a) it looks terrible in close-up, too, and b) I really need someone to tell her that this eyeliner approach has never worked.

Christina Aguilera in D&G

I assume there is SOME science at play to keep her able to breathe while wearing that thing.

Lauren Miller, Seth Rogen

This is honestly more what I expected people to wear.

Glenn Close in Armani

Glenn seems to agree.

Jeremy Strong

The REAL breakthrough here is that he's not in brown.

Charlie McDowell and Lily Collins (in Armani)

Her dress is pretty, but I cannot stop staring at his choices. Two people are staring at each other on his chest, and his feet each seem to be three-star generals.

Gal Gadot

I like the idea of this material but something about the cut of the top is weird to me. Like it's... too narrow AND too high or something? I can't put my finger on it.

Zoe Saldana in Schiaparelli

That's a temporary tattoo -- it was shown on the runway with this dress (also she's never had one there before). The execution of the top here feels... shlumpy in a way I don't typically associate with Schiaparelli.

Salma Hayek

I am into the silver streaks I can see in her hair.

Maria Sharapova in Stephane Rolland

Maria Sharapova came as an expensive wine bag...

Maria Sharapova in Stephane Rolland

And then PULL OVER, IT'S PANTS.

Edgar Ramirez

Red velvet, white pants that seem a DIFFERENT white than the shirt, grey bow tie, black shoes... bless this man for shaking it up, but that is a LOT on one plate.

Jodie and Kit Foster

This is exactly right, I think. Kit's tie is delightful.

Sheryl Berkoff, Rob Lowe

Between the hair and the fact that he's fixing his jacket, Rob looks like they got frisky in the limo.

Patty Jenkins

Ombre hair, ombre dress. She's committed. (I obviously dig the dress; I'm predictable.)

Alicia Keys (in Fear of God) and Swizz Beats

They look like they're modeling in a catalog called Oversize.

Ke Huy Quan

He kept it simple. No complaints.

Gian Luca Possi de Preposulo

Technically he's not a celeb, but we almost NEVER see Jessica Chastain's husband, much less on a red carpet, so: Here he is.

Danny DeVito

Danny was awarded a grant for his work in the sandwich arts.

Celebs Love Getting Sexy For Science

And hooray for science, AM I RIGHT.