Rihanna
You guys, I might like this. The shoes match too much, I think -- I really like them and wish she'd pair them with a solid dress, maybe in deep red -- but the gown itself has a punk cool about it. Cate Blanchett would look awesome in it. And so does Rihanna. It's effect is diluted a smidge by the fact that, as we've mentioned, it's the third sternum-barer in a row. But I also think it might be the badassiest. And YES DAMMIT that is a word.
Rihanna
I even think it's hilarious that she wore gloves with it. Man. Apparently Rihanna and I are having a moment, or maybe I'm just really into positive reinforcement at a time in which I'm afraid her dearest girlfriends are not doing enough to tell her to ABORT PROJECT CHRIS BROWN, RIRI, ABORT. THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN HOPEFULLY WAY WAY LESS TIME THAN YOU DO.
Rihanna
No, Rihanna, we will not be silenced. You and Katy need to be each other's get-a-grip friends, not each other's givers of Bad Idea Jeans gift cards.
Rihanna
I do appreciate the finger gun, though. Lea Michele does not deploy enough finger guns. Few people do.
Rihanna
I can't figure out why she performed on stage looking like she watched Risky Business on laundry day. Unless her song is called "Risky Business on Laundry Day," in which case, I will instead chastise her for leaving out the Ray Bans.