Royally Played: The Annual British Christmas Stroll Plus Dirty Soccer

Wills and Kate (In Sportmax)

WILLS: Kate, did you remember to turn off the hot dog steamer?

KATE: I thought YOU were turning off the hot dog steamer.

WILLS: No! I was turning up the hot tub.

KATE: I guess Christmas lunch is going to be intense.

(Additionally, I CURSE YOU, British rain, for requiring the holding of an umbrella instead of hands.)

Wills and Kate and Chaz

That said, anything could be happening here. Kate might have her hand in the back pocket of William's suit. That's...a thing people do in public, right? Sure.

Kate in Sportmax

That said, I love this hat, and I like to imagine Kate deciding that she can ALWAYS use another green coat, due to how she's going to go pass out shamrocks on St Patrick's Day for THE REST OF HER LIFE. This is a good addition to the collection.

Camz

I always enjoy this coat on Camilla, and it's not Christmas if she's not wearing a platter of some sort on her head. Perhaps she's got hummus poured into the side we can't see, as a way to bridge church-going into lunch. (I also enjoy Harry and Kate's floating heads behind her. "Hummus in a hat! Christmas is the BEST. I told you we were right to come to this thing, William.")

Princess Beatrice and Eugenie

They both look lovely, I think. I am HIGHLY IMPRESSED that Bea can walk in those shoes at all, much less in the rain. (I am wearing fluffy slippers which plug into my laptop and heat up, for comparison.)

Sophie Wessex and Lady Louise

Sophie ALSO looks extremely glam; the Brits pulled out all the stops when it came to the coats this Christmas. (Lady Louise has correctly and wisely opted for her wellies this morning. In my imagination, Lady Louise is a refreshingly sensible pre-teen, the kind of person who always helpfully returns her library books on time.)

The Wessexes, Eug, Harry

Wee James Wessex is representing for the Small Royal Brits (George and Charlotte were left at home, where I presume he fed an entire yule log to his pony before anyone realized either he, or the pony, or the yule log, was missing).

Prince Harry

There he is! (Harry's standing with Lady Sarah Chatto, who is Princess Margaret's daughter, so...one of Harry's second cousins, once removed. I think? It's Christmas night, what do I know? ANYWAY, she is a professional painter and was Diana's maid of honor [I believe]. She met her husband when they were working on a Merchant/Ivory movie in India, but the film he'd been in previously was called...wait for it... Charles and Diana: A Royal Love Story, in which he played Prince Andrew! (A) Potentially AWKWARD and (b) Does this mean I have a chance with Harry despite recent publications? DO TELL.)

Prince Harry

Oh, Harry. You shouldn't have.

QE2

"WE LOVE CHRISTMAS. JUST WAIT FOR OUR SPEECH LATER! WE KILLED IT!"

Harry and Wills Kick Stuff

REWIND. It's not the holidays if at least one of these two isn't playing in their annual Christmas Eve soccer match. I know it looks like Harry REALLY really really has to pee here, but he's just stretching. (They both leapt over the fence; Wills isn't, like, practicing his dance moves. Not yet.)

Harry and Wills Kick Stuff

I downloaded a lot of pictures of stretching, it seems.

Harry and Wills Kick Stuff

Told you. It seems I find it...compelling.

Harry and Wills Kick Stuff

One cannot risk pulling a royal hamstring, after all.

Harry and Wills Kick Stuff

Leave me alone, it's CHRISTMAS. I have no self-control!

Harry and Wills Kick Stuff

Okay, in fairness, this actually might be part of the dance routine Wills and Kate were working up for Christmas afternoon. (Obviously, they start like this before twirling to face the audience in unison to unleash jazz hands.)