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Yara Shahidi

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642348m) Yara Shahidi Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Inside, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

This is SO crisp. It's gorgeous and it's timeless -- it works as well on a youngster like Yara as it would on Katie Holmes or Sharon Stone (whose famous Gap tee/poofy skirt outfit it evokes). It also, I think, owes an aesthetic debt to Carolina Herrera.

Katie Holmes

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642347o) Katie Holmes Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Arrivals, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

She ALSO looks super. Her haircut is growing into a gorgeous bob, and the dress is sexy.

Casey Cott

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642347ab) Casey Cott Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Arrivals, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

Casey is on Riverdale, playing the character I call Forgotten Kevin, and he looks terribly handsome. Brooks Brothers OUGHT to be able to turn out a good suit for the lads.

Laura Osnes

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642347am) Laura Osnes Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Arrivals, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

Gorgeous.

Christina Hendricks

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642347ah) Christina Hendricks Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Arrivals, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

And then... womp-womp. The dress looks attic-yellowed; the blazer could've been neat as a cape, but the split-sleeve with the elbow-pit-ventilation is too much Stuff. It's messing with the line of the outfit.

with Geoffrey Arend

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642348f) Christina Hendricks and Geoffrey Arend Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Inside, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

They look like an old-timey couple trying to convince you to let them open a schoolhouse in your old barn.

Courtney B Vance

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (9642348p) Courtney B. Vance Brooks Brothers Bicentennial Celebration, Inside, New York, USA - 25 Apr 2018

I want to believe he's singing. "WILL YOU JOIN IN OUR CRUSADE?" he is bellowing. "WHO WILL BE STRONG AND STAND WITH ME?" And with that, I take my leave of you to ask Alexa to play Les Miserables. Thank GOD no one is home but me.

Brooks Brothers Threw a Bicentennial Bash
Starring Katie and Yara and Christina Hendricks.

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