'Wara No Tate' Premiere

I feel that when, eventually, we are given the wonderful treasure of the Official Bai Ling Barbie, this will be one of the outfits included with purchase. (Obviously, the doll comes dressed in a bra top, loincloth and fuzzy boots -- the classic Bai Ling Look.)

'Borgman' Premiere

When we received the press release about this dress -- the designer is called Gemy Maalouf -- the PR folks included a photo of the original design. I feel like the subtext of that inclusion was, "PS: originally, this thing had an actual top. Spread the word." CONSIDER IT SPREAD.

'Jimmy P. (Psychotherapy Of A Plains Indian)' Premiere

I have missed your coy kiss-blowing, Bai Ling, and I long to know when your long awaited book Nipples will be at a Barnes & Noble near me! Please do a book-signing at the Grove! I have questions about your past lives! Also, please turn around and assure me (or not????) that the front of this dress is not as sheer as the back of it.

'Jimmy P. (Psychotherapy Of A Plains Indian)' Premiere

Phew? (Is it weird that I actually think the skirt part of this is fantastic?)

'Tian Zhu Ding' Premiere

TOO NORMAL. THIS MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. I dislike change.

'Cleopatra' Premiere

WAIT. What? YES.

Cannes Bai Ling: Bai Ling

We saw her at the Cannes Opening Ceremony, and that was not just a tease. SHE IS BACK. And according to IMDb, she's got THIRTEEN MOVIES in various stages of completion. Sure, some of them just have "???" listed as their release date, but still. One of them stars Andrew McCarthy! That's a real thing! Bring on the multiple premieres for your assorted, possibly-straight-to-DVD-but-whatever films, Bai Ling. Never leave me again! [Photos: Getty]