Naomi Campbell in D&G

As a person, Naomi looks great. But that bodice, which is beautifully made, lies very poorly against the skirt. There's some nice work in it, but it's a little "Like a Prayer" for me and seems strapped somewhat haphazardly to the rest of it.

Nicole Kidman in Balenciaga

At least it's not white! I'll take it.

Halle Berry in Gaurav Gupta

Do we think this is the one she was going to wear to opening night? Because it is STELLAR, but also not even as large as some of the ones we've seen come down the carpet successfully, so she might've withheld it for nothing.

Jameela Jamil in Rami Kadi

This is great. She is REALLY into the crooked posing, though, wow.

Jameela Jamil

I wish this were a regular mani, sans boning, and that she hadn't worn the most boring possible shoes with it. Play off the colors of the flowers! They're RIGHT there!

Emma Mackey

Gosh, that's lovely. I am a sucker for silver.

Eva Herzigova

Amy Odell said on Instagram that this looks like two coozies growing out of her chest. I was going to say the spent ends of Christmas crackers, but she might be more correct.

Angelina Jolie

Imagine darker hair, darker lip. This is just too wan with her current head-styling.

Alba Rohrwacher in Schiaparelli

This is weirdly similar to a Jacquemus that Juliette Binoche wore to their jury photocall. Mostly vibes, but still. I think, to pull off the oversize and overlong suit situation, her hair needed to be slicked back. This way, the whole THING just feels tousled.

Vicky Krieps in Bottega Veneta

Julianne Moore just wore a custom Bottega with that same long tassel motif; this is leather and boxier and more dramatic, but still, repeating such a noteworthy piece of flair feels a little sus to me from Bottega. I feel like they all need a giant murder board, but for fashion, to make sure they aren't sending stuff that's too similar to the same festivals.

Tessa Thompson

This is so sedate for her, but it looks good.

Julia Garner in Gucci

I don't LOVE this... but I also don't dislike it as much as I thought I did. The color is super rich on her and the lace panel is growing on me.

Charli XCX in custom Saint Laurent

This is basically a low-effort nightie with a giant cape that's going to drag around on the floor all night picking up people's trash and lint. This is no different than any other train's fate; it's just the first time I've really thought of it that way. Justice for trains! They're doing the dirty work.

Daisy Edgar-Jones in Gucci

This is slightly going-out-top-coded, but I am not mad at it.

Naomi Ackie

This is... straining for mediocre.

Charlotte Le Bon

I kind of like this idea, but not with a blue bodysuit.

Salma Hayek in Gucci

This is next-level. She has REALLY whipped the folks at her husband's company into shape, in terms of making sure they give her their best.

Paul Mescal

Fairly straightforward.

William Abadie

Fairly Jiffy Pop. In a good way! This guy always seems to be having the best night.

Cannes You Believe There Is Yet More Cannes Content?

Movin' right along!