Marion Cotillard

From the front, I thought, "THOSE SHOES ARE SO HORRIBLE WITH THIS OUTFIT. WHY DOES IS PRETTY LADY RUINING HER DRESS BY LOOKING LIKE A SLOUCHY TEENAGER TRYING TO FLOUT HER PREP SCHOOL UNIFORM WITH DEMONIC HOOVES." And then I thought, "Maybe it's just in comparison, but the REST might be okay, like Marion is hatching from a graceful ruffled cocoon." And then I saw the back...

Marion Cotillard

... and it looks wrinkly and hangs weird and suddenly she looks like an exotic but shapeless bird.

Marion Cotillard

I feel like there is a germ of an idea here that COULD be executed in a way that does not look like a bedspread in the quality-control reject bin, and I rely on YOU, Fug Nation, to tell us.

Marion Cotillard

Here are the shoes, in case you want to get mad at them with me.

Marion Cotillard in Maison Martin Margiela

This is kind of amazing, workmanship-wise. I could not hate her hair more with it, though. The bun over her ear looks like a hair tumor. The dress is already a bit armor-like up top and too short on the bottom, so -- beyond a couple extra inches -- it needed some softness on her head, like maybe her lovely wavy bob loose. I think here the booties were a BETTER choice because they at least SLIGHTLY mitigate the shortness of the skirt, but boy, girlfriend is in a shoe rut today.

Marion Cotillard

Here they are up close. They're not for me, but I'll take them over the other ones. In the great game of Death Is Not An Option, I will wear these with great heaving sighs of resignation.

Cannes Fug and Fine Carpet: Marion Cotillard in Dior and Maison Martin Margiela

Well, we knew she'd wear at least one Dior, right? Overall, I feel like fewer people are in Dior at Cannes this year; that may not be true at all, but I recall thinking Dior was all OVER Cannes last year and this time around not so much. I'm wondering if the Jennifer Lawrence disasters are making other celebs steer clearer of it. That is PURE speculation on my part, and in fact, by the end of it maybe it'll bear out that just as many boldface names wore it as ever. We'll see. [Photos: Getty]