Julianne Moore

Molting: The silent killer.

Julianne Moore

Here it is from the front. I am still in a fight with it. We're not speaking. It's wicked unflattering and from this angle she looks like the evening's surprise carhop, reaching for her notepad to take an order. Somebody please tell it to KNOCK IT OFF and go home, okay? Because I can't, because we're now blood rivals.

Julianne Moore

Except when she turns to leave, IT'S EVEN WORSE. What was his inspiration? Paper torn out of a spiral notebook? IS IT RECYCLABLE?

Cannes Fug Carpet: Julianne Moore in Chanel

She looks like an unfinished Muppet plagued by the heartbreak of static electricity. I can't. Or I Cannes't, as it were. [Photos: Getty]