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Paz Vega

Fortunately, that doesn't appear to be an actual skirt -- it's like shapewear and boy shorts, drizzled in webbing. But if you are on a red carpet and you're causing me to say the words, "OH THANK GOD IT'S BOY SHORTS," then please reconsider several of your choices.

Paz Vega

Before I saw that it IS shorts, this photo scared the daylights out of me.

Paz Vega

Also, they're not even ATTRACTIVE boy shorts. They're making me look right at her Bermuda triangle. So it's like, yes, the crotch is COVERED, but it's still the bullseye.

Paz Vega

It just looks so ridiculous from a distance. I was going to say, imagine it lined, but I don't think the corset is that attractive either. But a delicate sparkly dress that is NOT actually shorts and a showgirl's shower curtain would have been sexy. This is like a lot of hard work and sparkles over something she wore to a photoshoot on the beach in the sixties.

Cannes Fug Carpet: Paz Vega
Because it's just not Cannes without a near-vaginal experience. [Photos: Getty]

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