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Cate Blanchett in Giles

cate blanchett cannes carol premiere

This is the same designer who made Solange's hilariously curious pleated-fan of a gown at the Met Ball. I like this treatment of the busy fabric because it makes the "I'm Here, My Subjects, So Stand Back And Marinate In Your Own Awe" statement that Cate Blanchett so often communicates without even trying, but it lets the fabric stand relatively untortured. The fabric itself confuses me -- sometimes I look at it and see something industrial, sometimes carbonation, sometimes just a migraine. I don't dislike it, but I don't understand it either.

Cate MAY have gone too minimalist with the accessories, though.

Cate Blanchett

cate blanchett cannes carol premiere

From this angle, though? A BIG ol' yes.

Rooney Mara in Olivier Theyskeins for Rochas

rooney mara cannes carol premiere

This bride looks bored enough to run. She should do it just to spite those who didn't talk her out of a ruched elastic waist.

Rooney Mara in Alexander McQueen

rooney mara in alexander mcqueen

I'm beginning to wonder if Rooney Mara is a human version of the movie "Speed" -- like, if she doesn't wear white, black, cream. or some combination thereof, a bus will explode somewhere. At least this one is interesting on her. I'm pretending the shoes aren't there, because they're such a missed opportunity.

Cate Blanchett in Alexander McQueen

cate blanchett carol photocall cannes

Everything about this is so good except for the pizza. And it's not even good pizza. It's the tiny slice you get when someone cuts a round pie into squares, and the curved edges inevitably yield pieces with almost no cheese on them, and the crust is thin enough to be a cracker, and just no.

Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Todd Haynes

Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Todd Haynes carol photocall cannes

There was rather more bum touching at this photocall than most. I am assuming it was consensual, because the two ladies appear to have gotten their own licks in, so to speak.

Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Todd Haynes

Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Todd Haynes

Cate goes in for a squeeze...

Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Todd Haynes

Rooney Mara, Cate Blanchett, Todd Haynes

.. and Rooney gets in a cupping as well. I guess as long as it's mutually approved photocall amusement, then whatever.

Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara

cate blanchett rooney mara

Rooney Mara must be like, "How do I keep getting myself into these situations?" Cate's is an example of how to work a ruffle with care; Rooney's is an example of how to work a ruffle that once hung around your bed's box spring.

Cannes Fugs and Fabs and Ass Grabs: Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara
I just thought you might want to open the day with a dash of elegance, before we dip into the muck of the Billboard Music Awards. [Photos: Getty]

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