Laetitia Casta
Of COURSE she didn't line the pink crotch swath -- this is Cannes, after all. But what really makes this outfit take the crackpot cake is the shawl. Or bolero. Or poncho. shawlercho? Boponsh? Or, here's a word: hilarrible, my new favorite. She looks like she's being frisked by whatever hatched from Veruca Salt's golden egg. In other words: WORDS.
Zhang Ziyi
This is also a Dior, from the same collection as Laetitia's, so it's got the same little blossoms and some sheers. And I'm torn because I think she is selling the HELL out of it but I hate that I can see the underpinnings.
Kim Novak
This. Is. Happening. I love you, Kim Novak, and your bedazzled Cosby cardigan. Did it come from an MC Hammer yard sale?
Orlando Bloom
Hi, Orlando. I remember you. Where have you been? Do you need a job? Can somebody get him a job?
Asia Argento
But where is the dress that goes on over this?
Asia Argento
You're welcome, Asia.
Uma Thurman
Uma looks like SUCH a diva here. It cracks me up that she's always wearing flat summer sandals -- if I were that tall, I'd HEEL IT UP. But standing in ballet's first position, posture straight, unimpressed look on her face, sparkly gown... I totally appreciate SOMEONE swanning around this place like she owns it, especially someone who, if you think about it, really does not. THAT is how you sell it, starlets. That is how you own it.
Uma Thurman
I am less enchanted with this. She's still trying to work it, but the dress is clunky to me and fits weirdly, and something about her face from certain angles starts to look like Jennifer Westfeldt in a way that makes me wonder about what BOTH of them may or may not have added to their genes.
Uma Thurman
And then from this angle... huh? This dress does not take kindly to movement.
Uma Thurman
... but I like the back? I wish she'd worn the other thing the whole night. I realize the Cannes red carpet is for Go Big or Go Home, but for me this one shouldn't have left the house. It's a bandage wedding dress.
Berenice Bejo
Love the dress, love the shoes, not sure I'd have put them together. They're SO CLOSE to being matchy - which I don't love - and yet just a little bit off, which is also distracting. Why is it always the shoes?
Audrey Tautou
I am mixed on this. Under the stage lights, it seemed more orangey, with a paler pink. But per the Prada press release, and on the red carpet, it's more saturated...
Audrey Tautou
... and is actually basically red and pink. I still like it, I think, but I was more interested in it before. Am I crazy?
Audrey Tautou
I freaking LOVE that little coat, though.
Sylvie Tellier
Another one I love. Good thing Laetitia brought the crazy or I might've been a little bit let down by this whole closing ceremony. Yes, it's nice to covet the gowns, but it's also fun when your brain gets scrambled.
Phoebe Price
LIKE SO.
Liliana Matthaeus
AND, scene. Thank you, Cannes. Well, not really -- this is tragic -- but you are such a refreshing reminder sometimes that it's okay to live in a world where people's privates stay private.