Julia and Clooney

In all sincerity, this is ALSO what I would do were I in Cannes with George Clooney. Let's just be honest.

George and Julia

Both of them, in fact, made me chuckle a bit in this photo. I like Julia with George, in terms of movie-making. In fact, I tend to like Julia in movies in general, which is why I wish she'd make better ones.

George and Julia

Having said that. IS THIS A BUSINESS JUMPSUIT? Dude. I know you're in a movie about...money, and news, or whatever (I've only seen the commercials with one eye during, like, Survivor), but there's no need to wear something from the Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps Jumpsuit Collection for Kohls.

Julia Roberts in Armani and Chopard jewels

However, this is really stunning. It's not edgy or directional or even that interesting, exactly, but she looks GREAT in it, and that neckline is an amazing frame for that outstanding, exceptional necklace.

Amal Clooney in Versace, George Clooney

And Amal looks lovely. There could not be more yellow happening on this Cannes red carpet so far, and I love it. (Too bad I look like I'm going to die of an advanced wasting disease in yellow.)

Amal Clooney in Versace, George Clooney

With bonus floaty train for maximum stair-climbing glamour. Well done.

Amal and George

PS: Amal, I need to know more about your earrings. Tweet me.

Cannes Fugs and Fabs: Julia and George and Amal

The other day, we were talking about the Bitch Eating Crackers phenomenon, which is -- in short -- the concept that once you dislike someone, everything they do is enraging and terrible. I am sad to say that I might feel this for Julia Roberts. Because my reaction to her clutching Clooney and laughing (which is a totally normal thing to do in the presence of Clooney, the world's worst intern) is, "ugh, Julia, we get it." I might be irrational about her. THAT SAID: Although she looked wacky at this morning's photocall, she looked REALLY good on the red carpet for Money Monster, and Amal seems to like her, so I should really probably drag my ladder out of the garage and use it to get over myself. Let's discuss. [Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]