Zhang Ziyi in Stephane Rolland
If we could JUST amputate the ruffle reef... and maybe scrape off the arm decals.
Kendall Jenner in Chanel
This dress looks like she's wearing, backwards, a very unusual backpack. But I also have to give her that it might look nice on her, if perhaps a little more than her particular magnetism can handle, and that if Nicole Kidman were wearing it I'd be probably be talking about how intriguing and well-chosen it is, so.
Elena Lenina
THANK YOU, Russian TV Personality Elena Lenina, for trying to make yourself the literal queen of this red carpet. Somewhere, a little girl in a blue dress and white apron just got shivers at the idea of having to play croquet against you.
Elena Lenina
For a hot second I thought she was Maria Bartiromo and THAT would have been amazing.
Adele Exarchopoulos in Louis Vuitton
This had slits up the sides, though not to extremes. It's fine, but I'm profoundly unmoved by what it's doing to her chest, and I just want to chop off her braid and feed it to the bottom half of Blake Lively's.
Frederique Bel
And here's Noted Rorschach Accident Frederique Bel.
Nadia Auermann
VERY Grace Kelly, no?
Audrey Tautou
I like her shoes, but I think this stumpifies her at that length, a little.
Jane Fonda in Elie Saab
This is the red version of a Champagne-colored one Angelina Jolie wore to the Oscars, and it looks a lot better a) in red, and b) on Jane.
Paz Vega in Elie Saab
Pretty enough. I understand why she went with the nude shoe, too, I GUESS.
Gong Li in Roberto Cavalli
That is at least a more attractive glorified labia shield than Karlie Kloss's.
Gong Li
And boy, she was NOT going to leave home without one, eh? It looks insane jammed on there like that -- girl, you had sleeves, which are a built-in excuse! -- but I'm sure we all appreciate that she's trying to do her piece.
Jin Qiaoqiao
The background in this photo is so amazing that I don't even care about the tulle iceberg.