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# Cannes Fugs and Fabs: The "All Is Lost" Premiere
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/cannes-fugs-and-fabs-the-all-is-lost-premiere/
- Published: 2013-05-23T20:00:59.000Z
- Updated: 2016-05-20T23:37:06.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:35

## Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169248652.xml)

Oh, you guys. Purple. ROYAL purple. On a redhead. I cherish this look so much. It's stunning and does stunning things with her figure. Drool.

## Milla Jovovich in Armani

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169248166.xml)

Whereas this is fine, and all, but I am more concerned with why Milla is practically doing Paris Hilton-style red-carpet back bends. That can't be comfortable. Realign yourself, old chum.

## Irina Shayk

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169249862.xml)

And, the requisite model in a slinky revealing boobalicious "HELLO DO YOU SEE ME BECAUSE I AM RIGHT HERE" number. Cannes is like the OPPOSITE of a never-nude convention. It's a near-nude convention.

## Alessandra Ambrosio

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169251783.xml)

See? You can be a total foxy sexpot without your sexpots hanging out.

## Li Yuchun

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169248568.xml)

This woman followed up her spectacuwack red ruffled cape number with this equally insane fringe poncho/carpet combo and glittery bootaloons. That whole sentence is chock full of words that shouldn't go together.

## Araya Hargate

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169248093.xml)

I finally Googled this woman and I guess she, like most of the Cannes attendees, is an actress/model. This is sort of pretty, and sort of a very fancy version of [the Stanford Tree](https://espn.go.com/media/pg2/2001/0314/photo/s%5Fcardtree%5Fi.jpg?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io), which is a joke I've made before about other outfits but I had no idea how apt it would continue to be. People, please stop emulating the Stanford tree.

## Barbara Palvin

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169248399.xml)

Sigh.

## Petra Nemcova?

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169254652.xml)

Okay, so Getty hasn't been super reliable at Cannes this time around, and I don't want to get punked again. They CLAIM this is Petra Nemcova. And I looked at this photo and went, "That is not Petra Nemcova. That CANNOT be Petra Nemcova." Right?

## Petra Nemcova!

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169252556.xml)

But then I saw THIS photo and was like, "Wait, that could be Petra Nemcova. It might in fact BE Petra Nemcova."

## Petra...?

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169250359.xml)

And THEN I was like, "Not Petra, and also that looks super uncomfortable."

## Petra Nemcova-ish

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169268848.xml)

AND THEN I was AGAIN like, "Wait, it COULD BE Petra, but with terrible makeup. Why is she contorting herself? WHO IS THAT? It really might be Petra."

## I give up

![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169250575.xml)

AND FINALLY I was like, "I have no freaking clue what is going on here but I guess I don't hate her dress."

[Cannes Fugs and Fabs: The "All Is Lost" PremiereIn which we begin with Jessica Chastain, and end with a little game I like to call, "Wait, Is That Petra Nemcova? ... It is. Maybe?" \[Photos: Getty\]![](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/content/files/www-gofugyourself-com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/169248652.xml)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/cannes-fugs-and-fabs-the-all-is-lost-premiere-05-2013/)