Jessica Chastain in (Yves) Saint Laurent
This is such a comedown for me from her dreamy, spectacular purple Givenchy. I suppose ANTHING would have been, but particularly a lumpy tourniquet and an unflattering skirt. And AGAIN with the khaki platforms. PACK MORE SHOES. PAY FOR THE BAGGAGE FEE. YOU CAN WRITE IT OFF ON YOUR TAXES.
Zhang Ziyi
This dress is a 1984 living room.
Kat Graham
She is the prettiest girl I can think of who tries THIS HARD to distract you from how pretty she is. Also, somewhere, Magnum PI just slapped a hand to his upper lip to make sure his 'stache was still there.
Sharon Stone
Do we think she's wearing a giant starfish as a bracelet, or that she just had a very strange outing at the beach?
Sharon Stone
Although obviously I LOVE how crackballs this is. It IS the Year of the Snake, too. God, I hope she does this as thematically in the Year of the Rooster. WITH A ROOSTER, pervs. A rooster.
Stacy Keibler in Zac Posen
Her makeup is ALL WRONG for this nice-enough dress. Pale pink lipstick with an eggplant sheath is not going to cut it. She needs to spend her summer at Lake Como cleaning out her cosmetics drawer and doubling up on her Birchboxes.
Goldie Hawn
Of COURSE Goldie Hawn is wearing a lemon-colored summer caftan. She's like, "Look! I'm a giant omelet!"
Paz Vega
Whereas Paz has on such a ridiculous amount of makeup that you can't even see what she looks like. And the dress is a tiny bit too... it's just not a good look for her.
Kylie Minogue
The bodice looks like she was TP'd by a bunch of neighborhood boys who crashed a wedding shower.
Janet Jackson
I guess... at least we can see her feet? But Janet should be so much more fabulous than those pants.
Ellie Goulding
Cut this off where the dress ACTUALLY ends, and it's lovely. As is, it's a gimmick, not a gown.
Aishwarya Rai
I love how big she keeps her hair. Something about her style comes off like she dresses JUST IN CASE there is going to be a catfight and/or some music swells every time she enters the room.
Carine Roitfeld
Crazy expensive outfit that looks like it cost $6 a Wal-Mart: Check.
Louise Roe
I actually like this a lot. Why does Louise Roe have a more interesting gown than Kylie freaking Minogue?
Paris Hilton
Paris's hair is looking much better these days. The rest of it is what happened to Glinda the Good Witch when, after the whole buffoon-behind-a-curtain controversy, everyone in Oz stopped respecting authority and she had to make ends meet as a showgirl.
Olivia Palermo
I can't believe she is still happening. Weirder still, I can't believe she's been happening long enough that I can look at this photo and go, "Peekaboo animal print REALLY doesn't seem like Olivia Palermo."
Audrey Tautou
Sometimes I think of her as French Rachel Bilson. Is that weird?
Mallika Sherawat
All I know is, she's not going through with this wedding.
Kristin Scott-Thomas
This housecoat is making me sad.
Dita Von Teese
And here is Dita, ditaing it up.
Julia Restoin Roitfeld
A lot of very fancy seatbelts are being denied their automotive-safety destiny.
Rosario Dawson
They are not built the same, at all, but for some reason I look at this and think, "Christina Hendricks should borrow this."
Bonnie Wright
Love the bob, Bonnie. Not sure the gown's bodice fits, but you know what? Ginny Weasley is doing okay for herself. And considering HP1 has been on heavy rotation this week on the movie channels, I am newly sniffly about how those tots grew up in front of our eyes and I just want them all to be happy and please can Rupert Grint get a supporting role on New Girl so that he and Schmidt can act together? Is that too much to ask?