Deepika Padukone in custom Ashi

This is a strong start to the slideshow (and it's the newest of the outfits).

Deepika Padukone in Ashi Studio

She looks like the winner of What Can You Do With This Tablecloth?

Deepika Padukone in Louis Vuitton

You know it's Cannes and I see this and think, "I am SHOCKED there isn't more GIANT JEWELRY." This is a good example again of how LV's custom work outshines its runway stuff.

Deepika Padukone in LV

I don't even know WHAT runway stuff is hiding under there. It's a reasonable coat, anyway?

Jasmine Trinca in Prada

Jasmine, sadly, is the least present in here. I don't know if she's not going to things, or if we just somehow don't have the pics. But I appreciate how into green she has been.

Jasmine Trinca

I am assuming this is Prada, because a) everything else has been on her, and b) the belt and the purse have Prada logos on them. It's fine? The red shoes are kicky.

Rebecca Hall in Armani

Rebecca has truly embraced the Cannes chaos of wearing a wide range of things. I rather like this, although the red on the hem (seen clearer here) looks brown here, as if her car broke down and she tromped through mud to get to the party.

Rebecca Hall in Gucci

This is fun, and absurd. A decade ago I'd have wondered why she put glue on her wrists and then punched a Muppet, but I'm elderly now and I just laugh and then wonder if those catch an annoying amount of crumbs.

Rebecca Hall

Dress over pants, no; jewels, YES.

Rebecca Hall

I will forever treasure Rebecca for giving us one of the worst shoes I have ever seen, so everything else is an improvement, though I don't really like these. I DO admire her sunnies.

Rebecca Hall

She has, in fact, aced the lesser art of deploying as many different ones as possible while in Cannes.

Rebecca Hall

I like her blouse? I also wonder if it's chilly in the screening rooms because she seems to have grabbed the jacket from the previous slide.

Rebecca Hall

You love to see a basic outfit jazzed up with a bright shoe.

Rebecca Hall

I am not sure WHAT happened with these shoes, though. Let's decide she packed the wrong pair by accident. (She could have tried the ones she wore with the pink suit!)

Rebecca Hall

But seriously, I want to see photos of people's wardrobe areas -- there must be a sunglasses wall at this point.

Noomi Rapace

Noomi also embraces a good shade. This whole thing is cute. HEAVILY styled in a way Rebecca's daytime stuff generally isn't, but maybe this was for a function.

Noomi Rapace

This is very posh.

Noomi Rapace

I love this little day dress. The shoes... at least make sense for walking on cobbled roads?

Noomi Rapace

This is the one that feels the MOST relatable to me for when your job is to watch movies all day. And yet, it's dipped in Chanel and rolled in more Chanel. The concept of the Chanel baseball hat is so goofy to me. Just buy one with a random team logo on it, people.

Noomi Rapace

This had a note that says, "This Image has been digitally enhanced." I assume that's for lighting reasons, as Noomi does not seem to have been altered in any way, although it would be very amusing if they'd changed the photo to extend the length of her sleeves and create a tailoring controversy.

Noomi Rapace in LV

I cannot emphasize enough what an eyesore those shoes are. They are terrible on literally everyone we have seen wear them, and also, that crossbody seems too big to be that high and this whole thing makes me cranky because I think it could have been better and just isn't.

Noomi Rapace

Zzzz.

Noomi Rapace

DYNASTY. This woman is absolutely going to set the curtains ablaze in your resort.

Noomi Rapace in Moschino

And then buy the ashes of the resort for pennies and turn it into a better one.

Noomi Rapace in custom Prada

BUT THEN THIS. It is CUSTOM. It was made for her and presumably with her approval and EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH THIS MADE SEVERAL CHOICES TO BE INVOLVED WITH THIS, FOR REASONS THAT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. I think this is the most hideous thing anyone has worn yet at the Festival, and I'm DELIGHTED, thank you to the whole team for this terrible affront to clothes, nothing has ever thrilled me more (this week).

What Has the Cannes Jury Been Up To?

I'm so glad you asked.