Eva Green in Elie Saab

I actually think this is great on her. And that Angelina Jolie should be very sad she didn't get this AND the Maleficent role first.

Eva Green

It's EXTREMELY dramatic from the back. There has got to be a bottle of Eye of Newt in there somewhere.

Eva Green

This is also Elie Saab, and... I mean. If you're going to skip hemming the pants, why not just make it a skirt? This is also just kind of boring. And HOT seeming. Even if they're vented long sleeves, they're still SLEEVES. Perhaps her blood runs cold.

Eva Green

It's okay, Eva, don't be embarrassed. It's not the worst thing anyone's work in Cannes, today or this year or ever. We'll forget it tomorrow.

Cannes Maleficently Played: Eva Green in Elie Saab

Eva Green seems to gravitate to dark and witchy characters, and often, dark and witchy fashion. So I like to imagine her at home burning a Maleficent ad over a voodoo doll of Angelina Jolie and bitterly murmuring, "May the bloat be with Pitt. May the bloat be with Pitt."