Helen Mirren in Elie Saab

Dame Helen and her pink hair are, to me, perfect.

Andie MacDowell in Toni Maticevski

Conceptually, I really support this, but does it feel like it was made for someone like...one inch taller

Bella Hadid in Cavalli

The lighting is weird in this photo -- I promise you that Bella is not actually this green. As you'll see when we look at the back of her dress in one seconf.

Bella Hadid in Cavalli

This is actually pretty great.

Liya Kebede in Valentino

This is appealingly whimsical -- and it's fun to see a New Use of Tulle rather than just MASSIVE TULLE LAYERS LAYERS OF TULLE ALL THE TULLE ALL THE TIME.

Julianne Moore in Valentino

Oh Julianne.

Julianne Moore

I am into the idea of Julianne Moore as the disembodied head of a vaguely irritated witch, though.

Cindy Bruna

We saw this cut of skirt last week on Rita Ora and let me tell you -- it is DANGEROUS. It looks fine from the front...

Cindy Bruna

...it gets risky from the side...

Cindy Bruna

...and it turns into a swimsuit from the side!

Sara Sampaio

This is pretty crisp on her.  

Isabeli Fontana

As is this! 

Araya A. Hargate in Giambattista Valli

This color is great, and this bodice is drifting like parts of a shipwreck in an angry sea.

Petra Nemcova in Ronald Van Der Kemp

In which Petra gives us her best impression of the wholesome ingenue in an 80s nighttime drama. (That necklace, in the show, is cursed, of course.)

Shailene Woodley

This feels weirdly Geriatric Jazz Hands on Shailene -- she never seems to me like someone who'd go for sequins AND feathers.

Amber Heard

Lately, Amber's been dressing like she's in a Star Wars movie that focused on a gala event and....okay, yeah, I'd be into that. Carry on.

Chun Li

She is ALSO in that movie!

Monica Bellucci

I'm just assuming the rest of her shoes accidentally toppled off the balcony and into the sea!

Rita Ora

Are we entering a period celebrating The (Sartorial) Widow Rita Ora? Because that might be fun.

Madison Beer

I feel safe in saying that when your butt cheek is near to popping out of your mini-dress during an otherwise inocuous hip pop....your dress might be too mini.

Maria Borges

Maria is so pretty, and looks so (prettily) annoyed by the fact that her dress includes a Fancy Panty.

Dita Von Teese

Do you think Rita ever just wants to show up at one of these things with her hair in a ponytail, wearing a bandage dress?

Priyanka Chopra (in Fendi) and Nick Jonas

I hope Fendi sends Priyanka MULTIPLE handbags to make up for this dress. It is HORRENDOUS. I've decided they're both closing their eyes in what they're pretending is newlywed bliss but which is actually just personal self-preservation.

Sui He

Sure! This is very pretty.

Izabel Goulart

Sure! This is very predictable. I also predict we'll see it on Kate Beckinsale eventually.

Anja Rubik

"All hail my boob tape."

'Iskra Lawrence

I'm never going to be in favor of these Loincloth Skirts, but mostly I'm just sad that the tiny blue umbrella behind her isn't actually coming out of her shoulder.

Victoria Bonya

Somewhere in Malibu, Cher is SO jealous.

Martha Hunt

It must be a relief at Cannes, sometimes, to leave the giant train back at the hotel and just let your legs out.

Lady Victoria Hervey

Honestly, yikes. Shout-out to the curly-haired blonde with the red lip behind her, though, as she ALSO seems to be wondering what, exactly, is happening here.

Sui He in Ralph & Russo

I spent a lot of time parsing this lining, and came away wanting more of it.

Camila Morrone in Miu Miu

This is very pretty -- and somehow manages to also look relaxed.

Kwai Lun-Mei in Chanel and Regina Wan

Both of these women look like chic aliens from a planet that throws WAY better parties than ours does.

Elsa Hosk in Etro

This is fairly dreamy.

Toni Garrn in Ulyana Sergeenko

...where is Toni's other leg in this photo??????????

Leyna Bloom

This photo is VERY CUTE. WHY NOT.

Miles Teller

I hear Miles Teller is extraordinary in Kramer: The Senior Years.

Penelope Cruz

This is so reasonable and pleasant.

Antonio Banderas, Penelope Cruz, Pedro Almodovar.

This, obviously, is the promo shoot for their sitcom, in which they all fall on hard times and have to open a B&B together.

Antonio Banderas

Antonio, I noticed that you were wearing the Fug Nation uniform before you even got on the table!

Catching Up On The Most Interesting Things That Happened This Weekend At Cannes: The Rest

Helen Mirren! Old man shirts! Thigh-high boots! Table dancing!