Cardi B

She truly can carry a lot of insanity, but I draw the line at carrying birds. And it IS a real bird.

Karlie Kloss wore this down the runway, and it honestly looked insane -- between the waxy makeup and the way it moved, it was like Lurch meets Sweetums the Muppet. It looks... wild still, but at least a tad more CHARMING on Cardi?!?

Up close, it's like her head has its own restaurant booth.

And from the back, Cousin Itt got a makeover. (Whoops — as the commenters pointed out, this is totally the side, not the back.)

This tattoo perhaps did not age well.

Crowdi and Cardi

This is a stunning portrait of mutual mistrust.

And, as creatures do, Crowdi eventually got annoyed and started flapping around -- the AP described it as "lurching."

Here she is sincerely shushing the paparazzi to try and get them to stop spooking the bird. THEN DON'T WEAR A BIRD.

"Do not fuck with me again."

Cardi B Wore a Live Bird to Schiaparelli

Do not try this at home.