Cardi B in Richard Quinn
Assuming this is Cardi B, it's right on schedule: A year ago, she stormed Paris in this stunning Michael Costello outfit, which is the best thing she's ever worn (the competition is not too stiff, but still). But apparently it wasn't extreme enough, nor floral enough, nor enough enough. She is the only person other than the models who has worn the full matching face covering that Quinn often adds for the catwalk. It is high-fashion batshittery, and it gave me a good laugh, which I have to believe was the intent.
Let us also acknowledge the high degree of difficulty involved in walking unassisted when you are dressed as a fussy elderly woman's favorite chair. If you thought Kim Kardashian would be the most upholstered celebrity ever on this site, well, you're not alone, and we were ALL wrong.
I love looking at the faces of people watching this unfold. Also, I am happy to see that Cardi B or Cardi B-Side or whoever that is has accepted a little assistance.
"WHERE ARE YOU? COUGH SO I CAN HEAR YOU."
"Dear J.Lo: Sorry I missed all the Hustlers stuff. I heard you're good in it. I was very busy turning myself into a human pot pourri sachet, and I did such a good job that I'm going to take a ten-minute iPhone video and submit it to the Oscars in the Documentary Short Film category. Race you to that EGOT. Kisses, C.B."
Cardi B in Thom Browne
Cardi B: mild-mannered reporter by day, and a renegade vigilante pillowcase by night.
"Dearest daughter: I've come up with your Halloween costume this year. Order this outfit from Thom Browne and go as Cardi Bee. I'm watching her and taking notes. Love, Mummy."