MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Anitta arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debut Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
The overall effect of this outfit is fine, but the longer and closer you look, the more it looks lik she's been tied up into this thing against her will. Like she's a boat yoked to the dock so that she won't float away someplace better.
Camila Cabello
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Camila Cabello arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debut Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
Frankly, BOTH of these women needed to float away someplace better.
Serena Williams
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Serena Williams arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debut Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
I appreciate Serena for choosing well-coordinated comfort. It's maybe... more of a brunchtime outfit, but she had a baby, what, two months ago? They're lucky she wanted to come at all.
Cuba Gooding Jr
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Cuba Gooding Jr arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
Cuba, to the best of my knowledge, did NOT have a baby two months ago. So I am not sure what his excuse is here.
Genie Bouchard (former tennis player)
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Eugenie Bouchard arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
It is wild to think Genie is at the same event that they are. This potentially could not be tinier.
Ella Balinska
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Ella Balinska arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where they debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
This is empirically ridiculous, like something AI would generate if you fed it the prompt "Formal Paraglider," but props to her for pulling it off with confidence.
Skrillex
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Sonny John Moore, known professionally as Skrillex, arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
I don't know if I have ever seen Skrillex. If I have, his face did not make an imprint on me, because this is not what I would have guessed. He looks like he's working security at fashion week.
Aryna Sabalenka (No. 1 in tennis)
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Aryna Sabalenka arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
It's fun to see the tennis players all fancy, especially Aryna, who is an absolute lion on the court.
Quavo
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Quavious Keyate Marshall, known professionally as Quavo, arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
I can't say I LIKE his purse, but I CAN say I enjoy seeing more men with purses. GUYS. Wallets and iPhones are so annoying in pockets! Get with the bags!
Timbaland
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Timbaland arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
... I do not speak this language. I also just noticed there's something printed on the shirt over by his left pocket, and I can't tell what it is. But that might also be the least of the concerns.
Michael Bay
MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 20: Michael Bay arrives at the Casadonna opening celebration where David Grutman, Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss debuted Casadonna, a Coastal Italian-inspired Restaurant and Bar in Miami's Edgewater on October 20, 2023 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
I cannot take this man and his bob seriously. I'm sorry.
