2014: Marion Cotillard in Dior

Congratulations to Marion's breasts on their wedding to each other.

2014: Solange in Calvin Klein

A LITTLE pinchy on the chest, perhaps, but otherwise lovely -- and the lipstick is flashy.

2014: Coco Rocha in Siriano

As I said at the time: Dover had better move his blooming arse. (I love this. It's theatrical in the best way.)

2014 Brie Larson in DVF

This is also enormously charming.

2014: Keri Russell in Rosie Assoulin

This dress. I do not think it does what you think it does.

2014: Anna Chlumsky

I am hard-pressed to believe these two pieces were meant to be combined.

2014: Jaime King in Calvin Klein

Oh, look, it's a bib chute. Drop your food and it just rolls right down to the floor

2014: Emmy Rossum

This is definitely around when her tastes got more interesting.

2014: Jennifer Hudson

The sculptural dress is good, but that shade of lipstick is perfection.

2014 Busy Philipps in Honor

"It's like my grandma always said: If you go for the ruff, your lips should be in the buff. ... That's a real thing, right?"

2014: Iman

Did Iman have a fancy pottery-in-Santa-Fe phase we don't know about?

2014: Heidi Klum in Donna Karan

This is so good on her. Heidi, you do not always look better in naked stuff! Look at yourself here!

2014: Blake Lively in Michael Kors

Listen, I appreciate the effort. Baby pink might not be quite right with a gold sparkly minidress, though. Part of her is aiming for mod, I think, and she... well, she tried, and it's not bad. But. Etc. Wow, I'm good with words today.

2014: Bridget Moynihan

Stunning.

2014: Liya Kebede

I can't wait until that skirt turns out to be the chemical map for a Covid vaccine and we never knew it. It definitely looks like SOME kind of scientific revelation.

2014: Zoey Deutch in Rebecca Minkoff

CUTE. She has great taste.

2014: Olivia Wilde in Mollie Parnis

The story about this is: She bought it at Decades, the vintage store here in L.A., and it had last been seen on Anjelica Huston in 1974 at Cannes. It would drive me nuts having all that stuff to get caught on doorknobs and chairs and other people's selves, but she's carrying it well.

2014: Naomi Campbell

Everything here seems correct.

2014: Ashley and MK Olsen

There's more than two inches of space between them. Were they fighting? 

2014: Greta Gerwig in Zac Posen

This is not Zac's best work

2014: Anne V in Jonathan Simkhai

Whoever made those shorts need never revisit making shorts

2014: Sophia Bush

She got an A in doily-making this semester.

2014: Lupita in Suno

I admittedly don't speak semaphore flags, but if she walked along a cliff near a lighthouse in this, a very confused ship would crash.

2014: Chrissy Teigen and Rachel Roy

It's hard to believe there was ever a time when people weren't THAT familiar with Chrissy Teigen, but I think 2014 was right about it. 

2014: Chris Kattan in Alexander Wang

Alexander Wang invited Mango -- yes, Mango, not his portrayer -- to be his guest at dinner. Do you think Kattan had to stay in character all night? Did he stomp around saying things like, "BEN WHOFLECK," and then dancing on tables? I hope so.

2014

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Erik Pendzich/Shutterstock (3786009ad) Olivia Wilde 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards, New York, America - 02 Jun 2014

2014

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Erik Pendzich/Shutterstock (3786009gv) Zoey Deutch 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards, New York, America - 02 Jun 2014

2014

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Henry Lamb/Photowire/BEI/Shutterstock (3786030am) Jaime King 2014 CFDA Fashion Awards, New York, America - 02 Jun 2014 WEARING CALVIN KLEIN SAME OUTFIT AS CATWALK MODEL 3560512e

2015: Ashley Judd

I didn't love this at the time, and I can't think why. Coal in my veins, perhaps?

2015: Jemima Kirke in Rosie Assoulin

She is both wearing the lobster bib, and dressed as the lobster.

2015: Emmy Rossum in Dion Lee

This is sexy and EVIL and I enjoy it on her.

2015: January Jones

This is not as bad as it should or could be, correct?

2015: Joan Smalls

This feels like convertible day-to-evening coveralls. Zip them down and it's pants for work, zip them up and it's a dress.

2015: Alek Wek

Fab.

2015: Liya Kebede in Altuzarra

That pattern makes me think of an angry cartoon character's raised eyebrows, like, if Elmer Fudd is REALLY angry and confused. That said... I also like it.

2015: Hanne Gaby Odiele

This is not a garment; it's a practical joke.

2015: Julianna Margulies in Michael Kors

WHY did you get sucked into the underpants game, Julianna? Why?!?

2015: Gigi Hadid in Kors

This is great on her. Gigi really can pull off a lot, which is how you know she's a good model and not just a dilettante.

2015: Nina Dobrev in Lela Rose

"They didn't make a top for it, so I went to Macy's."

2015: Michelle Monaghan in Monique Lhuillier

I wonder if Monique had just gone on an architectural tour of art deco Los Angeles.

2015: Abigail Spencer in Novis

With the caveat that I find it unique and cheerful, this feels like a hallucination, and I can't sort out whether to EAT ME or DRINK ME.

2015: Katharine McPhee in Paule Ka

"Are you SURE I'm not Jenna Lyons?... Dammit, I didn't fool anyone."

2015: Diane Kruger in Prabal

Fabulous. It's so, so good.

2015: Katie Holmes in Ralph Lauren

"I'm REALLY into dirty martinis right now, guys. The dirtier the better."

2015: Amanda Seyfried in Rodarte

Amanda hadn't yet chosen her exact circus act, but everyone could tell it would be a doozy.

2015: Juliette Lewis in Christian Siriano

I want to go to that wedding.

2015: Chrissy Teigen in Solace London

I don't really feel like going to this one, though. Too many signature cocktails and speeches, and uncomfortable chairs, and I bet the chicken was dry.

2015: Taraji P. Henson in Vera Wang

Sultry and great.

2015: Kim (in Proenza) and Kanye

I will only accept this if, at 15-minute intervals, she pushes a button and an air horn goes off while colored smoke shoots out of each of her blowholes.

2015: Janelle Monae in Tadashi Shoji

I wanted to finish on the highest of high notes. 

This Opens With a Calamitous Cotillard, and Ends With a Magnificent Monae

The CFDAs just get bigger and better.