Chanel and Prada

Shailene Woodley in Prada

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (10226838db) Shailene Woodley Prada Resort 2020 show, Front Row, The Piano Factory, New York, USA - 02 May 2019 Wearing Prada Same Outfit as catwalk model *10113177ba

But, before we get to Keira, let's start with Prada. There's so much over which to puzzle here, beginning with her hair, which reminds me of a frazzled '80s businesswoman from a movie about how the men don't understand how she can have a brain and still be a mother (but disappointingly the movie might not totally understand that either). Seriously, remember Meg Ryan's friend from When Harry Met Sally who wasn't Carrie Fisher? This reminds me of how they did her hair. And the dress is straight from Take Your J. Crew Rugby Shirt To Jo Ann's Fabrics Day.

Diane Kruger in Prada

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock (10226838dv) Diane Kruger Prada Resort 2020 show, Front Row, The Piano Factory, New York, USA - 02 May 2019 Wearing Prada Same Outfit as catwalk model *10113177bj

Oh no, there's another one. At least this one... could be something if it were lined all the way down? MAYBE?

Elle Fanning

I feel like -- and this is not her fault -- I ONLY JUST accepted that Elle Fanning is not still 13, and this whole aesthetic is not helping me with that.

Zoe Kazan

This is lovely, though. Thank you for the calming vibe, Zoe.

Naomi Watts

This is okay, but the super heavy bunchy turtleneck is making my own neck itch.

Lucy Boynton

I am starting to suspect that she wants kooky eye makeup to be her signature. Unless it's the product of her putting that signature down on a contract with the devil?

Uma Thurman

Boy, Uma's kids with Ethan Hawke both really favor her. I also enjoy the weird electric heart thing on her shirt, though if it's Prada, I can't TOTALLY figure out how it ties into what Miuccia is doing.

Haley Bennett

This is all boring and fine, and the purse and shoes look terrible together. Haley, as it turns out, had a baby in December with director Joe Wright... who apparently split up with his wife (Norah Jones's half-sister!) at the beginning of 2018 because of an affair with Haley. This is all extremely dramatic. As is her blush, which is way too strong for her face, I think. She has what Jessica calls Period Face, in that she looks like she'd fit into a film set in the past, and makeup can often overwhelm in that circumstance.

Sadie Sink

I hope those are not shorts. Although the entire vibe here is of a private-school girl who can't decide if she's Blair Waldorf or Jenny Humphrey.

Storm Reid

She is so cute and that sweaterdress look very weighty, even if it's not.

Natalia Dyer

Sure! WHY NOT. It's better than most.

Hailee Steinfeld

Those can't be real bangs, can they? If they ARE, that's fine, but they maybe shouldn't look as wiggy as they do. I hope she took them off -- along with her nylon socks -- and stuffed them into her expensive fanny pack.

Keira in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/WWD/REX/Shutterstock (10227111bd) Keira Knightley in the front row Chanel Cruise 2020 show, Front Row, Paris, France - 03 May 2019 Wearing Chanel, Custom

GLORIOUS LIPSTICK and a pretty gown. Congrats, Keira!

Lily-Rose Depp and Vanessa Paradis

Vanessa looks quite cool. I can't decide if it's the addition of sunglasses, or what, but her whole thing appeals to me more than Lily's. I think I wish hers was either longer or a blouse.

Liu Wen

One of my favorite models. I hope her feet are under there.

Ali MacGraw

And Ali MacGraw also turned up?!? The dude next to her seems as surprised and intrigued as I am.