Charo Bracket: Chloe Grace Moretz vs Jared Leto

CGM

Chloe might as well open with a suit, since she's going up against several versions of one. The haircut is a huge problem on her, but the suit also is SO rectangular. It never gets flattering no matter how many times I look at it.

Jared

This suit is every bit as awkward. Neither of them is cut attractively for the wearer.

We can't consider the suit without the overcoat.

CGM

From one Gucci to another: THOSE SHOES. (I'm not sure what the actual outfit is.)(Other than: way, way too much on her.)

Jared

The Emerald City is so excited to have its in-house charlatan back.

CGM

This is massively unflattering to her. Just terrible. It demonstrates no understanding of what flatters her figure.

Jared

Jared, please change your pants after patching your dry wall.

CGM

Chloe, please change your pants, period. And your shirt. Just change all of it.

Jared

This is the Silver Lake sequel fo the Unabomber. He drops metaphotical bombs containing truth, and poetry, and sometimes homemade soaps.

CGM

The proportions of this are ALSO wackadoo. I don't think that blouse actually wants a leather skirt at all, but if it did, it'd want one that sits a tiny bit lower and also has a pencil shape and length.

Jared

IT WAS THE OSCARS AND THAT IS AN UNDERSHIRT.

CGM

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - APRIL 13: Chloë Grace Moretz attends the "First Monday In May" world premiere during the 2016 Tribeca Film Festival opening night at BMCC John Zuccotti Theater on April 13, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival)

Shouldn't that skirt feel more fun? And yet it doesn't. At all.

Jared

ALSO, I think, an undershirt.

CGM

This is a slouchy mess, and her makeup just looks dirty.

CGM

Speaking of bad makeup. I get that she's being experimental with her sensibly flowered dress, but it looks like she colored on her face with a Sharpie.

Jared

52131318 Celebrities attending press conferences at Comic-Con 2016 at the San Diego Hilton in San Diego, California on July 23, 2016. Celebrities attending press conferences at Comic-Con 2016 at the San Diego Hilton in San Diego, California on July 23, 2016. Pictured: Jared Leto FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE

Oh, relax.

CGM

This genuinely looks like she's been swarmed by a bunch of silver bugs, and now that you've seen that, can you un-see it? I can't.

Jared

52042622 Celebrities are seen leaving The Bowery Hotel and heading to the MET Costume Institute Gala 2016 at The Metropolitan Museum Of Art in New York City, New York on May 2, 2016. Celebrities are seen leaving The Bowery Hotel and heading to the MET Costume Institute Gala 2016 at The Metropolitan Museum Of Art in New York City, New York on May 2, 2016. Pictured: Jared Leto FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876

This is not terrible, but is still EXTREMELY costumey in its way. He might be about to do a number from an old Hollywood musical. (Also, you know I object to the cream/white combo.)

CGM

This is Chloe's entry in the "Extremely Costumey But Could Be Worse Probably" file.

CGM

And this is just bad. Really, really bad, from design to execution.