Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

What a way to begin the year. This remains, nearly 12 months later, one of the worst looks of 2016. Certainly, this counts as a neck-related shenanigans.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

A turtleneck surely likewise counts. This entire look is a crime against her young, cute bod. Why is any of this happening?

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

I actually really like this dress, but it certainly involves Ye Olde Neck Tie. If you're keeping score, we're now 3/3 for Stuff Tied To Or Wrapped Around her neck.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

Make that 4 for 4. If she were a baseball player and Neck Paraphernalia were hits, she'd be the greatest player of her generation right now.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

I have strugged with this one and finally decided that I am NOT going to count this, although it's a weirdly tight v-neck.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

This is SO REGULAR and yet cute on her and then BOOM: CHOKER.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

I'm counting this very very high neckline as a Neck Related Shenanigan. PLEASE LET THIS GIRL WEAR A VEE-NECK.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

This around where I started thinking, "maybe she is worried about vampires????"

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

AH. I feel like I just took my first deep breath in three weeks.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

This is AWFUL, but she looks stellar from the shoulders up.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

This is cute!

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

This is also cute -- although the length might be a wee bit off on someone as short as she is, that's a total nitpick.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

I actually also quite like this. She looks like your very sharp ceramics teacher.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

Two steps forward, one step back.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

This one gets a thumbs up. It's actually kind of a good compromise.

Chloe Grace Moretz's 2016 Fashion Retrospective

Final count of Crimes Against One's Young And Perfectly Normal Neck: 8/16. Not as bad as I thought it would be and yet, also a rather disturbingly high number.

The Year in Chloe Grace Moretz

Fug Nation, we have spent long hours and fruitless nights pondering the most profound questions of our era: Why are we here? What is the point? Who are we, as a nation? And why does Chloe Grace Moretz always seem to have something tied around her neck? In this time of fake news, we thought we'd take the time to actually go back to all her major looks of 2016 and determine -- once and for all! -- whether or not CGM actually might be using something to keep her head tied on, or if this is merely a conspiracy theory crossed with confirmation bias and it's not actually that bad. JOIN US.