Precious Lee truly opened this like a boss. That criss-cross on her neck looks like a torture device in the making, but the color on her is perfect.
My dear, you did not emerge intact from the ladies' room.
This is just lulling you into calmness.
"This seems so reasonable," you are thinking. And it is. Send it to Issa Rae.
Truly, this doesn't seem bad, right? Right! You're so Zen right now, I'll bet.
"Heather, this is very nice. Were you exaggerating about the badness?"
"It's just a naked lady in a coat, Heather. It's a tale as old as time. I think perhaps you WERE exaggerating."
WAS I THOUGH. WAS. I?????
Here is a close-up, for more seeing and believing. If Lil' Kim wears this to the VMAs next week, or something, we will all look back at this moment and agree that this might have been the best possible outcome and be grateful the skin geometry has passed. If she does not... then it'll still be OUT THERE. Lurking.
This version isn't great either, but at least it STOPS.
This feels like Coco Rocha territory.
The yellow version is BETTER but still feels like it's on backward.
Katie Holmes was at the show, and I could see her in this.
Alicia Silverstone, also there, might be inclined toward that version. Or vice-versa.
Busy Philipps was ALSO there and honestly either this or the next one might turn up on her.
I wish K.Stew would vacate Chanel.
Oh my. It's like she's carrying sandbags. Or a bunch of tiny clutches.
Cynthia Erivo.
Lorde. Met Gala. COME ON.
And now we're in the dark section, and it will get darker, spiritually.
I could see Ashley Graham in this.
And HERE WE ARE. See-through lace and underpants. In 2022, we are still doing this. (I use "we" very loosely.)
I mean... no.
Sigh. It's always darkest before the dawn.
That's kind of cool, at least?
This model looks like Startled Rachel Bilson to me.
Who might wear a giant scrunchie? Which one of the 350 Emmy nominees?!? Let's go with Juno Temple, for fun.
This evokes Christopher John Rogers' recent work.
Do we think Viola Davis would take a crack at this?
WHAT NO I THOUGHT IT WAS THE DAWN.
Narrator: It wasn't.
Narrator: It really, really wasn't.
I have a chilly feeling that this is slapdash.
Side-abs seem so REASONABLE now.
STILL NOT DAWN.
This is basically the POLAR OPPOSITE of several of the other frocks.
Maybe Busy would do the Large Blazer Becomes a Gown option.
Michaela Coel.
Precious Lee pretty much took care of this business, but I guess we could try that on... Kerry Washington?
